What Your Alarm Clock Setting Says About You, From The Early Birds To The Lazy Bones
I sometimes work East Coast hours, but I live in LA. So I’m frequently waking up at 6 a.m. to start work. I am no stranger to rolling out of bed and falling flat on my face. I thought that only happened in movies, but it’s actually very real, and it looks a lot less glamorous when you aren’t Lindsay Lohan in Freaky Friday. I have my alarm clock wake-up pattern finely honed. (I’m one of those people who is strictly regimented, and should be put in a lab and studied so that scientists can understand what it means to be truly neurotic. Just kidding. Kind of.)
Anyway, I set three alarms: One for 5:55 a.m., one for 6:00 a.m., and one for 6:10 a.m. I love being awake before everyone else and getting a lot done, but I hate the actual act of waking up. In fact, one of my first thoughts upon waking up is typically “When in this day will I be able to lie down again?” But that’s where the alarm system comes in. Depending on how I feel in the morning, I can get up for the early alarm, the second alarm, or the late alarm. See? Told you there was a system.
So what do your alarm habits say about you? Here’s the breakdown.
1. The Standard Sound That Comes With The Alarm
You are a traditionalist. You don't want any frills. You're a no-nonsense type person who doesn't embellish. You don't use 10 words when five will do. You want to wake up, get in the shower, and get your day started STAT, and are not a fan of distractions.
2. The Vibrate Alarm
You have absolutely no intention of waking up the first time your alarm clock goes off. You don't want to hear it. You just want to lightly feel it. You're the type of person who falls asleep to sounds of the ocean (generated by an electronic), and like to have a glass of wine before bed to relax.
3. The Katy Perry "I Kissed A Girl" Retro Ringtone
You miss 2006. You long for a simpler time, when your mom still did your laundry and all you had to worry about was getting your homework done by first period. When you wake up, you want to feel nostalgic, and automatically be put in a good mood before facing the brutal reality of work.
4. Some Hip And Trendy New Song By Elle King
You are millennial AF and you have 2015 under control. You know how to program a Top 40 song as your alarm, so you're 10 steps ahead of me, because I'm yet to put music on my phone that was "new" four months ago. You have "digital age" stamped across your forehead, and are the friend everyone goes to when there's a problem with their laptop that they don't understand.
5. Setting Four Alarms, Each Leading Up To The Time You Actually Have To Wake Up
You are finally in the official "adulthood" stage of your life, but you got there begrudgingly, and are still longing for the days when you got to sleep 'til 8 a.m. You still can't wake up for that first alarm, but you finally have the foresight to set multiple alarms, and you have a strategy for still making it to work on time. Isn't that what adulthood is all about?
6. Setting Your Significant Other's Alarm Instead Of Your Own
You can't find your f*cking charger for the life of you, and you desperately need to go to bed so you can wake up early. So what do you do? You let your phone teeter on its last legs and set your SO's alarm, just in case your phone dies. Then you have a guarantee that something (be it your alarm or your angry significant other) will wake you up.
7. You Use The Sleep Cycle App
If you've never heard of Sleep Cycle, it's actually really awesome. Basically, you set a 30 minute period in which you'd like to be woken up, and the app wakes you when you're in the lightest part of your REM cycle. If you use this App, congratulations — you are destined for a career in Silicon Valley. (Either that, or your just committed enough to spend 99 cents on an app, which is still impressive.)
8. You Set Alarms Based On Each Part Of Your Morning Ritual
You have one alarm for when you're supposed to wake up, one alarm that reminds you that it's time to get the hell out of the shower, and one alarm that tells you when you need to leave the house. You are a busy bee. You know your vices, and how to beat them, and you're driven, motivated, and very, very type-A.
9. Upbeat Techno Wakes You Up Before 7 A.M. Every Morning
You are fit-spo, and proud of it. You run every morning, then eat a nutritious and beautifully Instagrammable breakfast. You own a fitness tracker and are training for a half marathon.
10. No Alarm At All
You are off the grid. You're going rogue. As someone who cannot imagine not setting an alarm (even on weekends), I don't really understand you. But presumably you're on vacation and need a well-deserved break, or you're waking-up senses have been honed to follow the sun, or some such nonsense.
11. You Have An Apple Watch Alarm
You are driven, done with your hot mess phase, and are onto the "My life is so together that it would shock you" stage of your existence. You count steps, have an excel budgeting spreadsheet, and several organizational apps on your phone.
12. Blaring Siren Alarm
You'd sleep through a hurricane or any other type of natural disaster, and you cannot be trusted to wake up. You value sleep and serenity, and are the type of person who gets wine drunk and then goes to bed wearing earplugs. (#LivingYourBestLife.)
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