I know I'm not the only 30-year-old woman who is inexplicably moved by Taylor Swift. I, however, am so infatuated that I'd like to share the secret of a perfectly executed Taylor Swift Halloween costume that you, an aging plus size super-fan, can wear on Oct. 31.
What makes Taylor Swift so enticing to us oldies, though, more so than other pop stars? Perhaps it's her exorbitant wealth, her pleasantly awkward youthfulness, or the fact that she writes all the songs we wish we'd had during our early 20s. Can you imagine how satisfying it would have been to sing "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" after you dumped someone at age 20? The kind of emotion that song calls for somehow dissipates and replaces itself with boring old rational thought by age 28 or so. I mean, who can we possibly feel strongly enough about to sing that song to now? Our rough-handed gynecologists? Our Hulu memberships? Our on-again, off-again relationships with gluten, despite the fact that we don't know what gluten actually is?
While it may be true that women of a certain age are no longer advised to weep and thrash and scream "This is my jam!" while Taylor Swift bleats and lyrically strokes our egos in the background, there is one night where grown ass women can fully immerse themselves in Swiftdom: Halloween. Luckily, Swift's 1989 tour looks can easily be replicated in plus sizes. Here's how to pull it off, and here's hoping that you run into your ex for the first time since 2002. T. Swizzle would want it that way.
1. Lots Of Sparkle Or Lots Of Fringe
If you've followed the 1989 tour photos, you already know that Swift's costumes are about two things: Glitz and fringe. Sometimes she even combines the two elements for an epic shimmer and fringe fest. Luckily, glittery bodysuits and fringe-y minis are also happening everywhere right now. Here are a few of the best.
From left to right:
ASOS Curve Embellished Red Carpet Fringed Shift Dress, $170.19, asos.comAlice & You Mini Metallic Shift Dress, $62.70, asos.comSequin Tulip Back Cami, $22.90, forever21.comSequin Shorts, $22.90, forever21.com
These are a few easy suggestions to point you in the right direction, but as I mentioned before, shimmery metallics and fringe are everywhere right now. If these don't make you feel all T. Swift inside, head to your favorite brand sites and do a little searching. Or, if you're feeling extra spendy, just go full-blown Tay and buy this, because it is perfect.
ASOS Curve Bodyfit Jumpsuit in All-Over Embellishment, $170.19, asos.com
2. An Epic Platform
Charlotte Russe Metallic Glitter Platform, $25, charlotterusse.com
I don't care where it's from, or what color you prefer: The bottom line is that you need a glittery platform for this costume. In fact, I'd argue that without it, you might as well just stay home and go all Halloween Scrooge, turning off the lights on your porch just as trick-or-treaters arrive. For plus size women, the platform is arguably a far more comfortable way to wear an epic heel. Thankfully, Swift seems to prefer them over standard stilettos as well.
3. A Blonde Wig
Sunny Blonde Bob Wig, $29.99, partycity.com
Swift's hair is part of her signature look, so you'll need a wig to match. Luckily, this is an incredibly popular wig color and style, so it shouldn't be hard to find. If you want to go the extra mile, try to find something in a mousey blonde instead of a bleached blonde.
4. Ruby Woo
It is a widely-known fact that Taylor prefers MAC's iconic Ruby Woo for her pout, so a tube of this is essential on Halloween night. Bonus: Ruby Woo has incredible staying power and won't budge from your lips, even after hours of Halloween debauchery.
5. A Power Stance
This is perhaps the most crucial part of your Halloween look. No matter where you go and what you do, make sure to adopt one of Swift's favorite power poses all night long. These stances say, "I'm young, strong, and totally not even worried about being a 28 or 30-year-old woman who still dresses like her favorite pop stars. Tonight, I am your god." Let's see it in some other incarnations.
You don't need more than one leg to carry all this awesomeness, so go ahead and get your flamingo on, girl.
It's Halloween, and you are magnificent.
The world is yours on Halloween, Aging Plus Size Taylor Swift. Do with it what you will.
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Images: Courtesy Brands