The 'AHS: Hotel' Guests Are A Mystery

OK, so I'm just going to come out and say it, you guys. The Hotel Cortez does not look like the most enjoyable place to stay. And while I'd assume that their Yelp ratings would be abysmal, it kind of works in their favor that the guests don't usually live long enough to write a review. Or do they? Yes, the American Horror Story: Hotel premiere episode "Checking In" was full of brutal killings — some of which will haunt my dreams for weeks to come. But as Ryan Murphy has proven to us multiple times in the past, just because someone is dead doesn't always necessarily mean they'll stay that way for long. In fact, based on what I've seen thus far, I'm starting to think that everyone in AHS: Hotel is dead. Well, at least the guests that are currently staying at the hotel.

Let's start with the drug addict, Gabriel, played by Max Greenfield. The poor guy suffers through what has to be the worst AHS death to-date. But when Detective John Lowe goes into the room moments later, we see Gabriel gasp for air underneath the bed. So are we to assume that he somehow survived, or is Hotel taking a page out of Murder House's book by having anyone who dies on the Hotel Cortez property become a ghost? I only ask because I'm starting to see a very distinct pattern here.

During the 1994 flashback, we see Hypodermic Sally take Iris' son, Donovan, into the hotel where he ends up overdosing on the drugs she provided. Then, in a fit of rage, Iris pushes Sally out the window and onto the concrete pavement below. No one could survive such a fall, and yet we still see her walking around during the present day. Why? Because now she must be a member of the living dead. (It would also explain how she hasn't appeared to age after all that time.) And while it's unclear whether or not Donovan had actually died or was merely on the verge of death, Gaga's The Countess worked some sort of magic to heal him and turn him into whatever she is. (Having a great jawline can save your life, FYI.)

So in light of all this, I'm more convinced than ever that everyone inside of the Hotel Cortez is dead. And it's only a matter of time until we learn how each and every single one of them met their grim (and probably bloody) demise.

Images: Suzanne Tenner/FX (2)