In case any of you were concerned, 2015 was a great year for Chanel Oberlin. Sure, there were about five murders on her campus — including her housekeeper and one of her supposed best friends. But Chanel's not one to let anything like that ruin her Halloween (or even a single day of her life, for that matter). And so Kappa Kappa Tau's fearless leader marched on with her plans for Chanel-O-Ween on Scream Queens, a brilliant parody of Swiftmas. So it looks like even though "Deaf Taylor Swift" met a grim fate in the show's premiere, the Taylor Swift references aren't going anywhere — and I'm sure our poor fallen Kappa pledge would have been devastated to miss out on the bizarre fun of Swift-inspired Chanel-O-Ween.
Many of you probably recall the Swiftmas YouTube video that currently boasts over 17 million views. (I certainly hope Chanel-O-Ween can reach at least one million hits, because otherwise that will just be embarrassing for Chanel and her supposedly dedicated fans.) After writing a preface about what a great year it had been for Swift and her fans, she documented every moment of the Swiftmas process — the wrapping, the card writing, and the hand-delivering of the gifts. Take a look:
OK, so Chanel-O-Ween is more creepy than sweet — but it's the thought that counts, guys. And at least there were presents involved, right? Instead of a Santa emoji a la T. Swift, Chanel's 752 Instagram followers received a Jack-O-Lantern emoji on their socials indicating they were the chosen ones to receive parcels from Kappa's queen bee.
Chanel went on to explain exactly why Halloween is her favorite holiday — and let's just say, she chooses her favorite holiday for slightly different reasons than Swift. But, hey Halloween is my favorite holiday too — so for a minute there, I was with her! But then Chanel explained her reasoning and it was, uh, more than a little creepy: "It's the one day a year that you're allowed to terrorize children and not be branded a psychopath."
But let's look on the bright side — she used her comatose grandma's credit card to buy presents for her pathetic followers (Chanel's words — not mine). If I were to receive a present from Chanel, I'd really want it to be an item from her wardrobe that I can't help but envy. But, nah. The gifts came in the form of severed hands, razor apples, rotting jack-o-lanterns, and (my personal favorite) a cadaver head stolen from an ophthalmology student. Don't worry about the recipients, though, because they were every bit as thrilled as Swift's fans to receive presents from their idol. While opening their cards, they even made similar exclamations like "Oh my God! It's even her writing!"
Chanel expressed to her followers that she would love to meet them in person someday (although I'm gonna make an educated guess that was a little white lie), but first urged them to post the videos all over social media "so I can use them for my own personal gain."
Since Swift even made a trip to Connecticut to deliver gifts to fans in person, Chanel did not allow herself to be outdone. She, too, made a very special delivery to one lucky fan who predictably nearly died of excitement.
This parody was another spot-on pop culture joke that was executed perfectly. Not only did Chanel's video mirror Swift's in the most hilarious way possible, but it poked fun at our obsession with celebrities and how many of us would probably die of excitement if they sent us a parcel — even if it did contain a creepy surprise.
I don't know about the rest of you, but this episode really put me in the Halloween spirit.
Image: Hilary Gayle/FOX