6 Signs You Really Trust Your Significant Other
Trust is a weird concept. So much of trusting someone in a relationship has to do with how you feel about yourself, and isn't always necessarily an indictment on how you feel about them, or what you think about them. I mean, who hasn't projected their own insecurities onto their S.O. at one time or another? Trust takes time to build, with yourself and as a pair — and if you can get to a place of trust, don't mess it up, because trust is one of the hardest things to get back once it's lost. A lack of trust can blemish all the good things you have, like laughter, happiness, and honesty, and turn a beautiful thing sour.
That said, we should all try our best not to start off believing that someone is untrustworthy. Giving your S.O. the benefit of the doubt is something everyone should do for their own sanity. Until you're given a reason not to trust someone you love, you should trust them. As my dad always told me growing up, "There's only two reasons not to trust someone: because you don't know them, and because you do." So if your S.O. isn't a stranger (hopefully not, that would be weird), and they haven't given you any indication that they're untrustworthy, it's healthiest (for everyone) for you to default to trust. Even still, for everyone who's ever had their heart broken, trusting can be hard, and even when you're mostly there, there can still be a nagging tiny part of you that worries. Here are six signs you really trust your significant other:
1. You're Not Afraid To Be Your Truest Self
So much of trusting someone is trusting yourself, and trusting that they will love whatever that is. When you truly trust your partner, you're willing to be the truest version of yourself, and that includes letting them see all the not-so-nice parts of your personality. Trusting someone is trusting that they'll still be there after you show them your very worst side as well.
2. You Don't Snoop On Them
Snooping around in your partner's stuff is a huge red flag. It means you're lacking some very basic, fundamental trust. If you're looking because they've given you a reason to think they're hiding something, that's a problem. And if you have no reason to and you're doing it anyway, that's also a problem. You should trust that your S.O. is behaving respectfully to you in the areas of their life you're not privy to, and you shouldn't be searching for evidence to find out if they are.
3. You're Not Alarmed By Time Apart
When you trust your S.O., you're not bothered by time apart. Well, you might miss them, and that will probably suck, but you're not questioning what they're doing behind your back. If you're going to be with someone, it's not healthy to have constant anxiety about them when they're out of your sight.
4. You Recognize Insecurity For What It Is
Everyone has insecurities. Even in the most trusting relationships, people have nagging doubts. That's human nature. The difference between really trusting your S.O. and not is how you deal with those insecurities. If you can recognize them as a reflection of yourself and not of your relationship, then you're off to a good start. Trusting people know that they're in their own head about their own business, and need to work on trusting themselves a little bit more, rather than projecting outwardly into the relationship.
5. You Don't Feel Like Your Fights Will End In A Break Up
Trusting someone is knowing they wont bail when times get tough. Which means you can say what's on your mind without fear. Open communication is part of trust, and knowing you can have an honest conversation with someone, even if it's an unpleasant one, knowing that they will hear you out and you'll still be standing at the end of the day, is really important.
6. You Don't Question Their Feelings For You
There's nothing worse than constantly questioning the way your S.O. feels about you, especially when they tell you they love you. When you trust someone, you know, without question, inside your bones how they feel about you.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast,I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.