Trusting relationships can be a funny thing, but learning how to trust someone you're with is essential. While couples who trust each other are more likely to be healthy and long-lasting, they are also likely to be the grossest partnership you’ll ever be in. When I say I learned about love from my parents, I mean that for the first 20 years of my life I thought that love was farting in front of each other and then congratulating your partner on the volume and strength of said fart. That’s not to say that’s not love, but let’s just say I had a warped perspective on relationships.
See, a 25-year marriage takes a lot more than just putting up with each other’s crap and pretending to have fun at parties you don’t want to be at. As cliche as it may sound, trust is the foundation to any good relationship and without it, you’re bound to be in something way messier than you want and need. If you don’t trust your partner, ask yourself why? What kinds of things do they do to rupture your ability to believe them and can they be improved? Also ask yourself what kinds of feelings about trust you have in general, maybe this is a pattern from past relationships that isn’t actually representative of the person you’re with now.
OK, I’m done being Doctor Phil. Let’s get back to farting.
1. No Snooping
It’s not just about resisting the urge. If your partner can leave their cell phone out while they take a shower and you don’t even think about looking through it, your relationship is probably in pretty good shape. But, we’re all human. Maybe a small part of you wonders what juicy stuff is beyond the four-number pass code. Consider this: the fact that your partner trusts you enough to leave it out is a good sign, and it’s in your best bet to keep it that way.
2. You care about their life outside of you
Part of trusting your partner is understanding how important it is that they have hobbies, interests and friends independently of your relationship. We all love attention and affection, but we need some alone time too. It’s important to value this aspect of your partner’s life void of insecurity.
3. You don’t assume every new friend is a sexual interest
Once you enter into a relationship, your life doesn’t stop. You might get a new job, start grad school, or move to a new city and along the way, you’ll develop new relationships. Part of trusting your partner is allowing them to enter into these relationships without constantly worrying about what they all mean. Everyone needs new friends! Except Drake. Drake doesn’t need new friends.
4. You let them see you in all of your many forms
The more we trust a person, the more comfortable we become with them both emotionally and physically. The makeup comes off, the sweatpants come on and the weird, bodily functions come out.
5. Meeting the parents
What’s more trusting than allowing someone into the crazy, dysfunctional world of an annual family gathering? Knowing that your partner will love you regardless of if your uncle shot-guns Budweiser’s during a round of karaoke that your mother insisted on starting is a huge sign of trust. And it goes both ways. You’ll still love your partner after seeing their prom photos and realizing you were way cooler than them in high school. You’ll judge them. But you’ll still love them.
Images: Phil Chester/Flickr; Tumblr (5)