After all the swipes, all the OkCupid dates, and after the confusing un-definable hookups, you've finally found someone that you love and who loves you in return. It's your first relationship and it's real. You did it against all the odds and against conventional wisdom that Millennials don't date anymore or that they don't know how to properly date anymore. We're the generation that's seemingly responsible for what the New York Times refers to as the end of courtship, that we don't seek companionship or love anymore, and that all we're really after is a good hookup.
But when the first one happens, it's magical. The first relationship you ever have is always exciting because it's new, it's exciting, and it's a learning experience. The best thing you can take away from your first relationship (and each one after) is that you learned more about yourself, what you want in a partner, and how to be the best version of yourself. Your first relationship is an important step to becoming a more complete person, which by the way, has nothing to do with needing another person to complete you, rather it's all part of the narrative of your life. You should embrace every new milestone in your life and have fun with it.
Here are some weird but normal things (if you haven't experienced them yet) that will happen when you're in your first, real relationship:
1. You Congratulate Yourself For Being Mature
Besides finishing college, moving out of your family's place, and getting your first real job, having your first relationship may be that moment where you really begin to feel like you're a real-life grown-up. For some, maturity doesn't seem to really hit you until you fall in love and feel responsible to and for another person. Somehow being in love makes you think about a potential future, which is not only scary but forces you to be mature in your decision making. *Pats self on the back*
2. You're Into Them, But You're So Nervous To Introduce Them To Your Parents
Sure, your parents may have met a "buddy" or two but this is serious. You're introducing them to the man or woman you love. Not only that, deep down you know your partner is a reflection of you and could represent a side of you that your parents have never been privy to before. The first time I introduced my first boyfriend to my parents, I was more concerned about what they would think of me being with this person, rather than them judging him. It's totally normal to feel this way, and we all go through it.
3. Even Though You Love Theirs, You Will Crave Your Own Bed
A relationship naturally calls for you both to sleep in the same bed, unless you've decided to follow this trend. Although you've both slept in the same bed before, it feels more comfortable to do so now, but spending more time in bed together (especially if it's in theirs) makes you crave your own bed even more — alone. There will be times when all you want to do is curl up in your own bed and chill on your own.
4. You'll Notice Sex Is Different
I'm sure I'm not the first one to tell you this, but relationship sex is light years different than single or un-definable relationship sex. You automatically feel more comfortable and connected to your partner and their body (and not to mention your own). You will notice the difference right away, if you already haven't. The first time I had sex with my boyfriend (in my first relationship, of course and thereafter), the way we had sex, even how deep he was able to go inside me, was an incredibly different and much better experience than ever before. You'll also realize just how amazing and fulfilling sex can really be.
5. It Can Take You A Few Months To Call Them Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend
Having your first boyfriend or girlfriend, like I've said, is awesome, but since you've never had a S.O. before it may take some time until you feel comfortable calling them your boyfriend or girlfriend. It's not because you're ashamed, it's just because you're not used to calling someone that.
6. You Might Also Forget What Your Friends Look Like
Because you're oh-so-in-love, you're going to find out (if you haven't already) that most if not all of your free time will be spent enjoying the honeymoon period, which means you may be seeing your friends a lot less. It happens, but try your best to make time for them and let them know how important their friendship is to you.
7. You'll Learn How To Push Each Other's Buttons (And May Even Start To Do It For Fun)
As you get to know each other more and more, you will learn what makes each of you tick. For example, if for some reason, you hate when they lie on the bed, fully clothed with their shoes on, they should probably know not to do it and learn that you're a clean freak. Once they get used to this fact, they may joke around with you and try and gross you out just to have fun with you, and vice versa. Yes, it will piss you off, but it's done out of love.
8. You Prefer To Use Weird Words, Nicknames, Or Looks To Communicate
They won't make any sense to any one but the both of you. My first (and current) boyfriend calls me Chispita, which means "little sparkle" in Spanish. Before I knew what it meant, he explained to me that he called me that because it was the best way to describe me, not only because I'm petite but because I'm the "little sparkle" or light in his life. When he said it, it was also another way of saying that he loves me. And it makes me melt every time, if not only because it's so unique.
9. You Leave Yourself Vulnerable For The First Time
This can be a very weird, unsettling feeling the first time you enter into a relationship, not to mention the first time you fall in love, but all this wonderful stuff leaves you vulnerable. It leaves you open to get your heart broken. That said, although it can be an unfortunate consequence, it can also be one of the best experiences of your life. Accept that you're vulnerable (we all are) but that it's all a part of this great experience we call life.
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