Today is Thursday. You know what happens on Thursdays, right? Of course you do. Of course you know we throw it back. This Thursday’s dose of nostalgia is courtesy of the music video for Jessica Simpson’s 2006 hit “A Public Affair.” The video for the disco-inspired tune puts an early '00s spin (har har har) on '70s/'80s roller rink shenanigans. The end result is a campy and buoyant rollerskating adventure that will leave you with serious feathered hair envy.
The Brett Ratner-directed vid was shot at Moonlight Rollerway, a Glendale, Calif. roller rink that’s been around since 1950. The rink a celebrity in its own right: as the Moonlight Rollerway's Facebook page points out, it's the most filmed roller rink in the world. In addition to the “A Public Affair” music video, Moonlight Rollerway’s screen credits include Straight Outta Compton , Glee , Hell's Kitchen , and Modern Family .
The roller rink featured in "A Public Affair" is not the only detail of note; This music video is full of celebrity cameos, weird fantasy sequences, awkward roller skate rental interactions, and flawless coiffures. Go ahead and lace up your skates and pull on your terry cloth tube top romper. We're about to go for a skate down memory lane.
J. Simps's Skate Squad
Jessica Simpson. Christina Applegate. Christina Milian. Eva Longoria. Wow. What a crew.
“I Wanna Be More Famous Than The Internet”
There are a lot of great lines in this video, but J. Simps's zinger takes the cake-flavored body lotion.
Ryan Seacrest The Limo Driver
Hey there, buddy!
Christina Applegate Has No Patience For Seacrest This Evening
The Skate Squad Stomps It Out
So glorious. Gives me gooseflesh.
Andy Dick The Roller Rink Attendant
Really dig his skate handling technique.
Brent Bolthouse The Roller Rink DJ
I may or may not have knocked over a glass of orange juice the first time I realized Heidi Montag's old boss was the person on the 1s and 2s. (Don't worry, the juice didn't ruin my coffee table or the carpet. Regardless, I appreciate your concern!)
This Sweet Move
What is this? The roller skate Olympics?
These Sweet Skates
Always a fan of a good pom pom.
Nope Nope Nope Nope Nope Nope Nope
Maria Menounos's Ice Cold Side-Eye
She notices her beau ogling J. Simps. She is none too pleased.
Maria Imagines Fighting J. Simps
J. Simps Imagines Dropping Into The Splits
On skates, no less.
Dance-Skating In Unison
Never underestimate the power of an entire rink executing choreo in unison.
AUGH I want to go rollerskating. Here's the thing: I can't remember the last time I went rollerskating. I'm not even sure I can still roller skate. This will most definitely end in me crashing into a wall and/or fracturing at least one wrist. Can't wait!
Images: jessicasimpsonVEVO/YouTube (14); Kristie Rohwedder/Bustle (14)