6 Promises To Never Make In Your Long-Term Relationship
When you first fall in love, it's so easy to promise your partner the moon and stars — and actually mean it at the time. But are there some promises you shouldn't make in a long-term relationship? And how do you know if you can trust your partner's promises? Well, that depends on your personality, according to researchers Lara Kammrath and Johanna Peetz. In their review of studies on promises, published in the US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health, they found that if you're a type-A personality who is super reliable, you're more likely to keep promises you make to your partner. On the other hand, the article reveals that if you're more easy-going when it comes to how you live your life, you're less likely to keep your promises, no matter how much you meant them when you made them.
The study also indicated that if you're the type of person who thinks more about your feelings when you make decisions, then you're more likely to over-promise and under-deliver. If you're the type of person who thinks about your life goals when you make decisions, you're more likely to make more realistic promises and keep them. This all seems like common sense, but it's nice to know science has your back when you make decisions about who to trust.
1. I Will Always Love You
This seems like the perfect promise to make, but it can be devastating if you can't keep it. You may be making this promise to someone you don't really know or without any knowledge of future circumstances. It's better to make promises such as "I will always make time for you" and "I will keep trying to win you," according to Lifehack
2. I Will Never Hurt You
Unless you can spend your entire relationship in bubble wrap, this is a promise you can't keep. Sometimes you won't even realize you've hurt your partner. It is absolutely inevitable that you will hurt your partner's feelings at some point, according to Psychology Today. The key is not to promise you'll never hurt each other, but to communicate openly about your feelings when hurt arises.
3. I Will Never Lie To You
Really? Try that promise on for size the next time your true love makes a terrible dinner or looks awful in his or her new outfit. Lying is a part of all relationships according to Allison Kornet for Psychology Today. And unfortunately, Kornet said, we tell the most and the biggest lies to the people we love the most.
4. I Will Never Let Anything Bad Happen To You
You don't need science to know that this promise is one you can't keep. If you ask me, it always sounds cheesy. My brain overrides my heart and I'm all, "that's impossible, but thanks for the thought." Maybe instead promise to always have your partner's back, no matter what happens.
5. A House With A White Picket Fence And A Car And Diamonds
Unless you have the means to buy these things and you just haven't done it yet, there's no need to promise your partner these material things. These types of promises set you up to feel like a failure, according to an article on lifestyle site Puckermob.
6. I'll Take Care Of You
Equal relationships require equal work. You don't need to promise to take care of your partner, meaning that all the crap of life falls your way. Instead, better to promise to always to work as a team, according to Lifehack.
I find it's the little daily promises and unspoken pacts that mean the most, like promising to come home to me after work or promising to make me dinner when I don't feel good. Real love isn't in just grand ideas, but the everyday details.
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