Being in a relationship, you get to know your other half pretty well. You two talk about everything — from the meaning of life to that day you couldn’t stop farting. You will have a million different conversations. However, there are conversations you shouldn't have with your significant other. While discussing if you both want to have kids, your religious views, what turns you both on, and other topics is important, and open communication is vital for any relationship, there are some topics that two should steer clear of.
Being a relationship expert with a background in Counseling Psychology, I know that when you have nothing nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all. This applies to not only friendships but to romantic relationships as well. Sometimes we speak without thinking and don’t realize the harmful effect it can have on our lover. They might just be words, but those statements can last forever in your partner’s mind. So, be careful and use more thought when you are saying certain things to your one and only. Every couple is different, but here are seven conversations that maybe shouldn’t be had at the dinner table nor in your relationship at all.
1. Previous Sexual Experiences
How lucky for you that your ex-girlfriend was amazing in the sack or that your previous boyfriend was a pro with his tongue. As wonderful as those memories are, they need to remain as memories that are never discussed. I’m pretty sure your current partner doesn’t want to hear those specific details. Save those juicy stories for the nights out with your friends and some vino. Your other half will surely appreciate it.
2. Your Brutally Honest Opinion
Maybe you don’t love your partner’s new haircut. The thing is, he or she has already cut his or her hair and what’s done is done. You being brutally honest and telling him or her that you completely hate it is only going to make your significant other feel bad. Even if you dread every time your partner puts on those horrid jeans,you need to keep your mouth shut and accept those jeans into your heart. I don’t condone sweeping things under the rug, but sweep away those negative comments on subjects that really aren't that important, and push them far far down.
3. Negative Comments About Their Family Or Close Friends
If you want to get into an argument with your mate, the fastest way is insulting his or her family members or close friends. When it comes to family, everyone has a little bit of Sopranos in them. So, watch what you say about his or her parents or siblings if you eventually want to become part of the family.
4. That You Saw Inappropriate Things When You Went Through Their Phone/Computer/Email
The problem with this conversation is that you shouldn’t even need to tell your partner you saw something shady. Snooping on your boyfriend or girlfriend is a red flag that there’s already an issue. If you were completely secure in the relationship and have a solid foundation of trust, you wouldn’t feel the need to get all Sherlock Holmes on him or her. Once you pull out your magnifying glass to look through his or her stuff, you really should turn it on your relationship and shine a light on that.
5. Old Arguments Where You Two Will Never See Eye To Eye
Bringing up the past is never a good idea, unless it’s about that one time you both had mind-blowing sex. An old argument should stay in the past, especially if it’s something you two never saw eye to eye on. The more you bring it up, the more power you give to that topic and the more wasted energy you will give. Sometimes you both won’t always agree on something and that’s OK. Get in touch with your inner Frozen and just let it go.
6. How You Cheated On Your Exes Before
There’s nothing good that will come about if you tell your current partner how you used to cheat on your last partner. All he or she will think about is if you are capable of doing that again. There are some things you boast about, like being on level 600 for Candy Crush or how you ate that entire pizza that one time — however, cheating is not one of them.
7. That You Think His Or Her Friend Is A Hottie
Yeah, OK, your partner's bestie is hotter than hot. There are some things we should keep to ourselves. This is one of them. Even if your partner’s friend is the hottest thing you've ever seen — they're not your partner, so keep your thoughts to yourself.
It's important to be honest with your partner, but sometimes the key is asking yourself whether or not that honesty is beneficial to the conversation or the opposite.