The 'Gilmore Girls' Revival Just Can't Happen Without These 7 Things
So by now, I'm sure you've high-fived your nearest and dearest, called your mom, and danced ecstatically around your bedroom in sheer glee regarding the beyond wonderful announcement that Netflix might bring Gilmore Girls back for a four-part revival series. While the news has yet to be confirmed by either Netflix or Warner Bros., the forecast is looking very good, what with the lack of outright denial and the massive amounts of Gilmore Girls stars who have crawled out of the social media woodwork to not-so-subtly hint at the news.
Now, I'm not going to lie. I dance around my bedroom, too. I even tried to fist-bump a lady on the bus who was reading about it on her phone (I clearly need to learn my boundaries). But that excitement was soon overtaken by the discomforting thought that these characters and this town that we think we know so well will have changed so much if we get to revisit them. Still, I trust Netflix beyond what is reasonable for a woman to trust any TV marathoning app, and hope that all those algorithms they clock up whilst we watch away are being put into good use in understanding exactly what Gilmore Girls fans truly care about, and go with it. (That's how Netflix works, right? Science?)
Just in case their fancy science methods should fail them, here's a handy list of things that I hope and pray to the good gods of Luke Diner are achieved with the revival, so that our Gilmore-loving hearts don't get broken.
1. Remember Richard Gilmore
This one genuinely breaks my heart. The thought of Gilmore Girls without Richard is like a Lorelai Gilmore movie marathon without the table full of snacks. Though they had their differences, Richard was often the crux of the family, taking care of each of them when they needed him and delivering some home truths when they were acting ridiculous. I hope that when the revival comes, they deal with his absence with the true weight and sincerity it requires. And who knows, maybe Emily will take it as a sign to lighten up and live a little. Because life is too short to waste on bullying maids, Emily. Go on, have two glasses of wine with lunch.
2. Rory Needs To Be One Of Us
When we last saw Rory, she had graduated from Yale and had just landed herself quite the graduate gig covering the Obama campaign (whilst the rest of us finished college and probably stepped right into a part-time gig at the local coffee shop, am I right?). Still, I won't be bitter. I love Rory Gilmore, but it'll be tough to see her overachieving in a climate where a lot of young people are truly struggling. I long to see grown-up Rory struggling with adulthood the way that we all are. And hey, maybe she'll even have to move back in with mom while she figures out exactly what it is she wants to do with her life?
3. Bring Back Jess
I know this is a stupid one, but hear me out. As I live and breathe, Jess Mariano is my favorite TV dreamboat delinquent. He loved to read, he had a great taste in punk music, and he was often raging at the world (usually out of one side of his lovely, angry mouth). He was basically built in a dream factory for teenage angst packed into a prototype James Dean body (swoon!). But I'm also super concerned that Jess' love for writing, his foray into publishing, and his nihilistic worldview would have pushed him into dangerous hipster territory.
Please, Angels of Netflix, do not let Jess Mariano turn into a horrible hipster stereotype. For humor? Sure. But then bring him back to the snarling, brutally honest and slightly dysfunctional smartass that he always was. And a little Rory romance (or friendship) couldn't hurt.
4. Luke And Lorelai Need To Be Together
One of Gilmore Girls' greatest story arcs was the love story between Luke and Lorelai, who were obviously meant to be together, but just couldn't make it work for one reason or another. I cannot even begin to describe the aching screech that my mind will bellow if the revival shows that they still could not make it work — not to mention how I absolutely don't want to have to comfort my poor mother over the phone about the whole ordeal. That was hard enough in the original run.
All relationships are tough, and we saw how both Luke and Lorelai can be phenomenally difficult people in their own ways. That's why it would be incredible to see them surviving through tough times instead of just quitting. Instead of showing a couple struggling to make it work, the Gilmore Girls revival needs to show a couple succeeding at it. Give us playful bickering, give us frustrated exchanges, and by god, give us those enchanting speeches about Lorelai drinking too much coffee.
5. Get Melissa McCarthy On Board
Look, I know McCarthy is kind of a big deal these days, busting ghosts and being a spy and everything. But we need Sookie St. James. Sookie gave a clumsy balance to Lorelai, and their BFF relationship was utterly amazing. Without McCarthy on board, I worry that Lorelai might become that most treacherous of female characters — the friendless wife/girlfriend. You could even do a Broad City and just Skype her in. Whatever the case, we need her, and Stars Hollow needs her.
6. Lorelai Gilmore Is Going To Love Netflix, Right?
There's been a big old shift in pop culture since we last hung out in Stars Hollow, but the main thing here is that I honestly can't think of a television character who would benefit from Netflix as much as Lorelai would. So we're basically going to be trapped in this weird Inception scenario in which we watch a woman on Netflix watch some other people on Netflix. My guess is that she'll be marathon watching Orange is the Black and Dance Moms. Just a thought.
7. Keep Stars Hollow As A Time Capsule
I know that Pretty Little Liars has been using the Gilmore Girls set for it's own cat-and-mouse journey into cryptic text messages, death dolls, and teacher-student relationships. But I sure hope they can revert it back to the way that it was. Sure, the main structure is there, but here's hoping that the shop fronts are returned to their former glory, and that everything is back to how it should be. With the exception, of course, of Taylor Doose's broadening empire. I dread to think of how many shops he's created since we've been gone. We've missed a whole lot of Luke and Taylor showdowns, that's for sure.
See you at the next town meeting, ladies.
Images: Warner Bros/ Televsion (2); Giphy (6)