Halloween isn't for everybody, and that's totally OK. For some, the idea of dressing up and finding something to do on Halloween is more anxiety-ridden than going through a haunted house where you have to sign a disclosure saying "they can touch you" before you enter. If you're not feeling the 'Ween Scene (should I trademark that?), there are great options for what to watch on TV on Halloween, so don't be scared. Because while some are dressing up as Superman or Batman outside, I am here to remind you that not all heroes wear capes. Instead, they are sitting right there, on your TV stand, asking to turned on.
There are a lot of different options for Halloween viewing pleasure. If you're looking for a classic scare, then TV has you covered. Is your idea of horror a distant relative asking you what you want to do with your life? Then maybe a more feel-good movie or TV show will be your best bet. TV even has a great line-up for comedies, if you're looking to completely disassociate from the holiday. Whatever the case, TV has great options this year for Halloween viewing, so sit back, relax, and maybe don't turn off all the lights.
If You Want To Laugh
Halloween isn't only about being scared. Halloween can also be a time where you laugh, and I don't mean cry of fear until you start laughing. Here are some light-hearted options for the faint of heart.
- Halloweentown High (Disney): Possibly one of the best Halloween-themed sagas to hit television is Halloweentown. Disney is showing the fourth Halloweentown film at 3 a.m., Halloweentown High(be warned, the original Marnie is not in it). Your best bet is to record it, and watch it at a normal time in the day. And while you're at it, record the three other films, which show at 3 a.m. the days leading up to Halloween.
- Saturday Night Live (NBC): It's not a new episode, so don't worry about live tweeting it. SNL will air at its usual time, 11:30 p.m.
- Scream Queens (FX): The network is showing a back-to-back marathon of its new series beginning at 6 p.m., aka the perfect time to narrow down those Red Devil theories.
- The Simpsons (FXX): Catch years of The Simpsons "Treehouse of Horror" episodes beginning at 11:30 a.m.
- Men In Black (Bravo): Both MIB 1 & 2 will be showing on Halloween night, beginning at 9 p.m., and 11 p.m., respectively.
If You Want To Be Scared
OK, so you're a traditionalist. Let's just get right to the point.
- Final Destination (TBS): You can't escape it on Halloween, and at 11:30 a.m. and 1:15 p.m., you will be reminded of that when the first and fifth films are shown.
- Texas Chainsaw 3D (MTV): If you're dying for a slasher flick on Halloween, tune in at 10 p.m.
- Nightmare on Elm Street (IFC): Beginning at 9:15 a.m., every Nightmare on Elm Street film will show. Don't sleep through it.
- Halloween (IFC): The classic film is a must on Halloween, beginning at 9:30 p.m.
If You Want To Feel Good
Sometimes you just need a feel-good movie to get your through Halloween.
- Ghost (E!): Relive just how much you love Ghost at 10 p.m. Don't forget the clay.
- The Blind Side (TNT): This might make you cry, but in a good way. Have all those feelings starting at 8 p.m.
- Supergirl (CBS): Catch the pilot of this kick-ass superhero series at 8 p.m.
If You Want Be Terrified Of IRL Monsters
Monsters are real, just watch Dateline. I've seen enough episodes of Criminal Minds to know that you don't need zombies and ghosts to scare the sh*t out of you.
- Criminal Minds (A&E): There is a marathon of the psychological crime show starting at 4 p.m.
- Dateline (TLC): Get spooked by real people doing real things, starting at 4 p.m. on TLC.
- Online Abduction (Lifetime): The new movie, beginning at 8 p.m., will probably make you permanently unplug when a girl has to use geotags to track her abducted younger brother.
If You Want To Party From Home
If you don't want to commit to a movie or a TV show, just turn your house into a concert.
- Voodoo Music + Arts Experience (Yahoo): Yahoo is streaming the music-filled weekend from New Orleans on Yahoo Live, iOS or Android apps, Apple TV, Roku, and XBox. Beginning Friday evening through Sunday evening, listen to artists like Forence + the Machine, deadmau5, and Third Eye Blind straight from your home. For a full line-up, check out the Voodoo Experience website.
There you have it. No matter what mood you're in on Halloween, TV has your back. Now go buy an economy-sized bag of candy for trick-or-treaters, and put up a sign that says "Not Home," so no one will bother you.
Images: FOX; Giphy (5)