Channing & Beyonce Are Going Into 'Battle'

by Kristie Rohwedder

File this under: Please tell me this isn’t all a dream. According to Entertainment Weekly, Beyoncé and Channing Tatum will compete against each other on the next season of Lip Sync Battle . *Rubs eyes.* *Blinks.* *Pinches self.* Is this real life? *Rubs eyes.* *Blinks.* *Pinches self.* AHHHHHH it's official: This is real life. THE Queen Bey and THE Magic Mike Lane are going to battle it out on the Spike TV show. *Wipes single happy tear from cheek.*

I sincerely cannot wait for all of the clips to take over my Facebook timeline the morning after the episode airs. Whoever pitched the Beyoncé versus Channing duel is forever my hero.

Are my expectations high? Of course. Do I have some predictions? Of course. Here they are:

  1. Beyoncé will pick two excellent songs.
  2. Channing will pick two excellent songs.
  3. Beyoncé won’t miss a single word.
  4. Channing won’t miss a single word.
  5. Beyoncé’s dance moves will slay.
  6. Channing’s dance moves will slay.
  7. Beyoncé will win.
  8. Channing will win.
  9. The judges will win.
  10. The audience will win.
  11. The viewers at home will win.
  12. Everyone will be a winner.
  13. There are no losers in a Bey versus Chan lip sync battle.
  14. Because oh, my god how did we get so lucky?
  15. It will be a perfect episode of TV.
  16. At least one television set will overheat in the middle of the episode.
  17. The townsfolk will shout “I CAN’T EVEN” in unison.
  18. The day after this episode airs, the clips will be inescapable.
  19. Like, Facebook will turn into BeyChanbook.
  20. And it'll be a glorious thing.
  21. Because oh, my god how did we get so lucky?

The episode's premiere date has yet to be announced, but it will air sometime in 2016. Warning: If Bey lip syncs to "Pony" by Ginuwine, there's a 89% chance I will implode.