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19 Things We'd Rather Have Than Jeb's Warm Kisses

by Hope Racine

Oct. 29, 2015

During the third Republican primary debate, the candidates were offering all kinds of things to win over voters. Ted Cruz offered a ride home, tequila, and some pot brownies, while Jeb Bush offered a nice warm kiss. There are some prerequisites to Bush's smooch offer, though — you have to be a Democrat, and you have to be down to cut taxes.

“Find me a Democrat that will cut $10, and I’ll give them a warm kiss,” Bush told the audience during Wednesday night's debate in Colorado. He was one of many candidates who attempted to blend humor into their performances. But Bush's joke didn't really go anywhere. And Twitter was kind of grossed out. Although it was a very kind offer on the former governor's part, on behalf of Democrats everywhere, I will pass. It's not you, Jeb; it's us. OK, maybe it's you a little bit.

But Bush might be on to something. Republicans seem to be big on incentives, so maybe Bush should start including additional incentives as part of his policy packages. Maybe Congress should get a pizza party every time they pass a bipartisan budget. Or when foreign leaders agree to a treaty, they get a cookie cake. I'm telling you, this could be the start of a whole new America. But before he can make these promises, Bush really needs voters to turn out for him. And that's just not going to happen when we're thinking about all the things we would rather have than his warm kiss. And it's kind of a long list.