Want to know how to have better sex? It's not about technique. It's not about experience. It's not about how you look. As a new study found, there's an easy hack to having a better time in bed that you probably haven't even thought of: just believing that you’re the sexiest person in the room leads to hotter and much more enjoyable sex.
In a recent study published in the International Journal of Psychology, two Australian psychologists tried to determine the effect sexual perception had on sex by surveying a sample of 3,000 people. Participants were questioned on sexual attractiveness, self-esteem, satisfaction, activity, and partners.
As the study found, good sex doesn’t come from you being hot, but rather, feeling hot. This applied to people of all genders and orientations, all shapes, and all sizes, which is amazing.
“Feeling sexually attractive is associated with an
individual feeling more confident as a sexual partner, more satisfied with
their sexual experiences, as well as experiencing greater frequency of sexual
activity,” researchers said in the study.
The study found that men, on average, had 28 percent more partners than women. However, women identified themselves as being more attractive 10 percent more than men. Because of that, women were found to enjoy sex more and have it much more frequently.
In general, those who found their sexual experiences to be much more pleasurable strongly believed in statements like “I am sexy” and “I can attract sexual partners.”
Don’t be afraid to be you and love you, because you deserve to have fun in bed. Since confidence leads to better sex, here are some hacks to help you feel more confident:
1. Walk Tall
As in, strut your stuff like you own the damn place. As a study
published in the journal Psychological
Science found, standing tall with an expansive posture helps you feel and
act more powerful than you would if in a drawn-in stance.
2. Pump Up The Bass
A 2014 study published by The Society for Personality And Social Psychology tested “high-power” and “low-power” music on a group of participants. “High power” music included bass-heavy tracks such as 50 Cent’s “In Da Club,” Queen’s “We Will Rock You,” and 2 Unlimited’s “Get Ready For This.” On the other hand, “low-power” music choices included Biggie’s “Big Poppa” and Baha Men’s “Who Let The Dogs Out?” As it was found, listening to bass-heavy music led people to feel more confident and powerful going into interviews and meetings over those who listened to “low-power” music.
3. Remember A Time You Felt Confident
According to a 2013 study published in the Journal of Experiment Social Psychology,
researchers conducted a couple of experiments centered around people writing a
job application letter or being interviewed for business school. As the study
found, participants who were asked to remember a personal experience in which
they had power, dramatically changed their efforts and led them to feel and act
4. Dress For Success
A study from the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University found that what you wear plays a role in how secure and powerful you feel. When researchers told study participants to wear a scientist’s or medical doctor’s white coat, they performed much better on a given test than those who were given typical lab coats. So, dress like a boss, act like a boss, be a boss.
As Shape magazine reported, stretching can not only lead to good posture and better
blood flow, it can also lead to more confidence.
6. Channel Beyoncé
As we all know, Queen Bey is #flawless. You can be too. Just think to yourself, What Would Beyoncé Do? Or Clooney, or J. Law, or anyone you look up to and admire. As a study published in the journal Personal Relationships found people with low self-esteem who wrote down positive qualities of their favorite same-sex celebrities and themselves, felt more inclined to be a better version of themselves.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions to make him last longer:
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