6 Things To Put On Your Sex Bucket List, According To Experts
We all have those feel-good (oh so good!) moves that get the job done. Likely, it's taken months (if not years) of practice to figure out what sex positions are best for you. While it's great to have old standards that you swear by, the best part of a healthy, evolving sex life is that you introduce new — sometimes unordinary — things into your bedroom routine. Regardless of whether you're in a relationship or you're single, when it comes to upping the ante of your orgasms, there's no better place to go than outside the box. We've talked to some experts who have not only researched, studied, and written about all things sex, but also have a few ideas for those looking to create a must-try sexual bucket list.
Before you dive into these stimulating suggestions from the best in the business, follow some simple rules. Though you already know how important consent is, make sure you and your partner are both cool with whatever you want to try beforehand. Never do anything that makes you or your partner feel uncomfortable (everyone has lines, don't cross 'em if it's not your thing). Once you've discussed this, here are your challenges.
1. Erotic Power Exchange, aka BDSM
“Erotic power exchange is any situation in which partners, of their own free will and choice, actively incorporate the power element in their lovemaking. Erotic power exchange is best known as BDSM (think Fifty Shades of Grey). The defining element in this (both sexually and emotionally) is that one partner takes a dominant role, and the other is a willing submissive. This is so powerful because it uses the element of trust from the submissive, requires communication between the partnersm, and, of course, it's a journey into kinky sex! The shape and form it takes totally depends upon the fantasies, situation, and boundaries of the partners involved. Obviously, this is not everyone's cup of tea, but certainly something almost everyone should experience with a partner at least once!” - Coleen Singer, Senior Editor, Sssh.com
2. Being Tied Up — And Really Letting Go
"Everyone must try a scenario where it's all about you and letting yourself go. Your partner does everything to you, and you don't have to feel any kind of guilt for not reciprocating.This can include soft bondage, like having your wrists or legs tied with a scarf or soft rope. This will give a sense of surrendering to the other person. It's important to experience the intensity and power of a total release, free from guilt and shame. Let your body take over and go with the flow." - Dr. Jane Greer, relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship
3. Have A G-Spot Orgasm
"Many women get intimidated by the idea of G-spot orgasms, or don't think they have one. In actuality, all women have the ability to have a G-spot orgasm. These orgasms can be longer and more intense, and have a different quality than clitoral orgasms. Rear-entry positions can help you find it, but you can get even better access with toys designed to target the G-spot." - Dr. Kat Van Kirk, sex and relationship expert
4. Go To A Sex Club (Even If You Just Watch)
“I’m not suggesting that you need to shed your clothes or join in on the action, but there is something life changing about being in a room of naked adults having sex according to their own standards. Unlike porn which is directed and entails paid performances, most sex clubs include couples and singles who aren’t professional sex performers. Visiting a sex club takes it to another level as you’re exposed to different sounds, positions, acts and bodies in the most intimate and intense of human acts.” - Dr. Jessica O'Reilly, author and sex expert
5. Maintain Eye Contact ... The Whole Time
"Have slow, eyes-open love making that is connected and attached. As the saying goes, 'the eyes are the window to the soul,' so making love with your eyes open allows you to connect mind, body and soul. - Ian Kerner, author, and sex and marriage expert.
6. Spontaneous Sex In The Moment ... Without Thinking
"I’m a firm believer that the one thing you need to do in bed before you die is combine the physical aspect of sex with the mental, and it doesn’t need to be accomplished in a bed or bedroom. The greatest sex moments have often also been the most romantic. Picture driving along a mountain road just around sunset, you pull over to enjoy the view, and have a great song playing on the radio. The sky, the view, the chance of getting seen, and being with the right person is actually the ultimate when it comes to sexual experiences." - Noah Van Hochman of SugarDaddie.com
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises: