It feels like we've been talking about, dreaming about, and regramming this collection forever, and it's finally here, honey. H&M x Balmain went on sale Thursday, and though it's already almost entirely sold out online and in many stores, those of us who couldn't shop the collaboration this morning are hoping some pieces are still all steamed, pressed, and ready to go home with us and put all our other clothes in our closets to shame with its golden-accented, military-inspired fleekness. But first... we have to get through the workday.
Usually my biggest struggle at the office is waiting for lunchtime — with a few snack breaks and trips to the espresso machine carefully planned out all throughout the morning to tide you over. But this particular day is an eight-hour chunk of time separating you from all the H&M x Balmain you can fit into your shopping tote is interminable. You wouldn't wish this level of suspense and deprivation on your worst frenemy, and short of quitting your job, there's nothing you can to make it end.
That silly "It's Five-O-Clock Somewhere" mug on your desk has never spoken to you more truthfully than today. Here are the nine stages of that emotional roller coaster that is waiting for 5 p.m. so you can get your H&M x Balmain fill.
1. You Get Dressed For Work
After today, it's all H&M x Balmain, all the time. By tomorrow, you'll be dressing like a Jenner. Morning meetings will never be the same.
2. But Then The Realizations Sink In
You have seven hours, 58 minutes, and 27 seconds before you can bolt and that slowly sinks in. This is going to be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. Buck up, and caffeinate.
3. You Kill Time By Surfing The 'Gram
To fill the void that the all-too-real lack of H&M x Balmain has created in your life, you check social media to see what people are scoring. Instagram is a pretty good representation of reality, right?
4. Bad Idea
Early birds seem to already be snatching up all the good stuff. Will anything be left for you?! FOMO is getting the best of you. You need to go off the grid.
5. You Check The Time, Again
You finally treat yourself to a peek at the clock, but are destroyed when you realize only five minutes have gone by. Another bad idea. Slap a Post-It over the time on your computer screen. Trust me on this one.
6. You Resort To Prayer
You haven't been to a place of worship in years, but all that's left to do is pray. You'll try anything at this point.
7. You Start Strategizing
It's mid-afternoon now. You know that there's going to be a 5 o'clock rush (great minds think alike) so you start strategizing ways to beat out the competition and making all that H&M x Balmain all yours. You know your regular H&M location like the back of your hand, short cuts, fire escapes and all. You got this.
8. Might As Well Try To Work Or Something
It's actually impossible. How can you work when there's a powerfully-shouldered H&M x Balmain blazer out there with your name on it?
9. Be Cool & Get Outta There
Work is finally over, and you're out. Try to play it cool, at least until you're out of eye-shot from your co-workers.
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Images: Giphy (9)