We all know what we think of when we imagine a "good mom." Someone who is kind and patient and worried all the time. We've read the articles that claim the good-moms-to-be are the ones holding their friends' hair back at the bar, and knitting on Saturday nights. Not here to #hate on any of those things, just to add that while those rosily watercolored images of motherhood are indeed valid at times, there's so much more to raising humans who are intelligent and kind and who get out the door on time in the morning and don't throw more than five public temper tantrums in a week.
Motherhood is a tough ass job. It is not for the feint of heart. It is disgusting, it is raw, it is brutal, and it's beautiful, but we can no longer deny the she-warrior levels of personhood that women have to rise to. If you're childless and already feeling intimidated — don't worry, that's normal. And if you're trying to gauge whether or not you will actually be a good mom in your life, figuring out whether you have more qualities than just "patient" and "styles hair into a bob" would probably be ideal. So here, a few key signs that you're going to be a rock out, superstar child-raiser, based on the habits, choices and decisions you're already making in your day-to-day life. Not everybody was meant to parent, and no one set of ideals can encompass or represent the most effective parenting — but I hope those go without saying. (They definitely do, you're brilliant, future-mama-warrior-to-be.)
You're Emotionally Intelligent
So, for example, you know that hitting a child is perhaps the absolute most devastating thing you can do to their psyches — it's not a form of "deserved punishment." You know that kids are influenced more by how you are than what you do or say. You know how to address your own emotions, even when they seem debilitating at times. If you cannot handle your own feelings, you will not be able to handle a toddler's.
You Don't Put Up With B.S.
Not at work, not in your relationships — you have a 0 percent tolerance for nonsense, and you enforce it whenever you feel you need to.
You Don't Get Hung Up On Details
You're not stressed if you have a hair out of place or things don't turn out exactly the way you want — either of these traits (or variations of them) is material mental suicide. (You will never survive.)
You're Working On Your Career Right Now
You're focused on getting your personal or work life really solid before you bring another human into the mix. You're focused on building a strong foundation not only financially, but also mentally, as having accomplished a few of your own goals first makes you that much more confident to carry on and raise a child to accomplish theirs.
You Know What It Means To "Love Yourself First"
You know how to give yourself love. You know how to re-fuel your gas tank. You know why these things are crucial, and you will carry that knowing into motherhood without being completely wrecked by giving everything you have to a little tiny monster. (OK, you will definitely be wrecked by giving everything you have to a little tiny monster, but at least you'll know how to take a deep breath and kind of get it together now and again.)
You Know How To Prioritize
You're an expert in the fine art of realizing that you cannot have everything you want, but if you're really lucky, you can get exactly what matters most, and that is all that anybody really wants in the end anyway.
You Are The Master Of "Tough Loving" Your Friends
You are the friend who tells it like it is. You spend hours roaming your apartment, drinking wine, doing dishes, all with your phone propped up against your ear, making that raised eyebrow mom face, saying: "Well, you know what, if she just wouldn't speak to him anymore she wouldn't have problems but she needs to work on her self-esteem first."
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