So-called "lesbian" dating app Her (formerly called Daatch, and I'll get into the inaccuracy of calling it a "lesbian app" in a minute) recently analyzed over five million messages sent between its users over the past month to determine what it is that queer women are talking about most often on the app. In other words, the dating app was out to dispel the myths that queer women are obsessed with cats (dogs were mentioned more than cats!), Shane McCutcheon, softball (soccer is more popular, actually), and moving in together on first dates.
While Her failed to give us critical findings such as "Ruby Rose versus Kate Moennig," "Hitachi versus Doxy," "tops vs. bottoms versus switches," "how many people actually like scissoring," and "most frequently mentioned sex acts," here are some determinations they did make:
1. Queer Women Are Not All Cat Ladies
Dogs were mentioned 1.7 times more than cats in messages, proving my long-held belief that pitbulls are the trendy new wave queer pet of choice.
2. Queer Women Talk About Soccer More Than Any Other Sport
And the four reasons for that named Abby Wambach, Megan Rapinoe, Ali Krieger, and Lori Lindsey.
3. Queer Women Talk About Their Exes A Lot
Exes were mentioned in one out of every 50 conversations. That's about 15,000 women talking about former flames in a dating app. While this may seem bananas to a straight person familiar with the "no talking about exes on a first date" rule, keep in mind that straight dating rules were made with dating straight men in mind. When you remove appeasing them from the equation, being open about your emotions and processing your feelings is no longer taboo! Et voilà! We have zillions of queer women actually communicating about their previous relationships to give potential future partners a heads-up about what kind of dating space they're in!
4. Less Than Half Of Her Users Identify As Lesbian
So, Her seems a little confused by the results of this finding. They claim that, although they market themselves as a "lesbian dating" app "for women who like women," only 41.2 percent of users identify as lesbian or gay. The rest identify as queer (5.6 percent), bisexual (27.4 percent), bi-curious (6.5 percent), pansexual (6.1 percent), or other (13.1 percent). Uh, isn't that a sign that your proudly sported "lesbian app" label is an unnecessarily limiting misnomer? And what does "women who like women" really mean? Because a brief scroll through nearby matches shows no shortage of trans masculine folks, nor are trans women excluded as "women" (and rightfully so). So how about marketing it as "queer app," "for women and trans folks only"?
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