When I was little, my mother refused to cut my hair. She became irrationally sentimental over the ends of my hair — she couldn't get past the fact that it was the hair on my head when I was born. And so I didn't have a proper hair cut until I was about seven years old and nearly tripping over my hair. While all my friends had cute, short bobs and lobs and bangs and trims, I was Rapunzel without the all the animated Disney-infused glory.
So naturally, the second my mother's nostalgia waned, I chopped my hair off. The thing is however, I have really curly hair. So when it's short, I look a whole lot like the sphinx. It's enormous and square. But because I had been deprived of haircuts for so long, I refused to stop cutting my hair. I was trying to get back at my mother, but all I was doing was ruining my school pictures.
Throughout my teen years, I experimented with different hair styles. I never got tired of getting my hair cut — it became a coveted treat and I looked forward to the sound of a sharp snip. But as I came into my twenties, paying for haircuts became absurd to me. Things like groceries, heat, and hot water took priority, and my hair began to grow. The longer it got, the tamer it got. The weight smoothed down the frizz, and much to my mother's delight, my Rapunzel swag was back. And I didn't hate it. In fact, I started to love having longer hair. There are so many unexpected perks to sporting a long look. Here are just a few:
It's A Shirt
The Little Mermaid fantasy is real. A lot of girls dream about growing their hair long enough to cover their breasts for fun. Spoiler alert — it is fun. I feel very mermaid-like walking around my apartment with just my hair on.
It's A Scarf
In the cold winter months, I tuck my hair into my sweaters and it keeps my neck warmer than any scarf. Because it's so long, it keeps my shoulders and chest warm, too!
It's A Shield
When you're out and about and need to not be seen, be it potential run-in with an ex or psychiatrist or high school teacher, you can pull your hair forward and literally conceal 98 percent of your face. A la Cousin Itt.
It's A Style
When your hair is super long, you don't have to do much to it. Mostly it just hangs — either it's up, or it's down, but either way it's just hanging. It seems like it would be a high maintenance style, but it's actually the easiest style I've ever had, and it always looks like I tried.
It's A Shade
Yano when you're stuck in traffic or in a seat at a restaurant where you're getting totally burned by the sun and can't really do anything about it? Well, if you have super long hair you can just drape it over yourself and keep cool.
It's A Shelter
Sometimes the weather can get in the way of your phone calls. The wind can screw up the audio and the rain can ruin your screen. Not when you have super long hair. If you need to make a phone call in bad weather, you can simply lean forward and create a shield all around you, blocking noise and water.
Rapunzel had the right idea, everyone. Long hair is pretty much as efficient as it gets.
Images: Courtesy of Kaitlyn Wylde; Giphy