13 Weird Things That Happen When You Have Really Long Hair — Because Yes, You May Touch It
If you're anything like me, then you can probably remember being a little girl with some serious long hair envy. Personally, my first long hair idol was my mom. I can still remember looking at pictures of her when I was a kid and just dreaming of the day when I could boast the same flowing, silky, '70s hippy hair that she did.
But even if my mom's awesome hair hadn't made me want to grow my hair out, all those Disney princess movies would have. I mean, all that stunning, voluminous hair tousling in the wind mixed with all those magnificent, tiara-topped updos is enough to make anyone want long hair. So I grew mine out. Then, after realizing how much of a pain long hair is to take care of, I chopped it all off. Of course, I immediately regretted it and proceeded to grow it back out — but then I chopped it off again. This wishy-washy pattern continued through college until I finally realized around the age of 22 that no matter how much of a hassle long hair is, I love it and I will always prefer it (for now, anyway).
If you love having long hair too, (but also kind of hate it sometimes) then you'll definitely relate to the following 13 weird things that only girls with long hair can fully understand.
1. Your Hair Gets Caught In Literally Everything
Seriously, though. I can't even put on my seatbelt without managing to get my strands caught in the buckle, I've accidentally shut my hair in car doors more times than I can count, and anytime I choose windows over AC I always roll up at least one of my hairs in my car window.
And that's just the car-related ways long hair is always getting caught. Scratching my head with my watch arm is totally out of the question, dangling earrings aren't worth the ear-tugging frustration, and dress zippers are the bane of my existence.
2. Your Shedding Seems Worse Than Everyone Else's
If I'd attended Hogwarts, I'm fairly certain my hairs would be the ones everyone would choose to complete their polyjuice potions, simply because it would be so easy to locate them. For real though, they wouldn't even have to get near me to snag a hair. Literally everywhere I go I end up shedding a few hairs. My car, the cars of anyone I ride with, my desk at work, and my boyfriend's work clothes have all managed to collect a few of my hairs. Even my cat has been found with my hair on top of his hair. It's ridiculous.
3. You Rarely "Do" Your Hair
When you have super long hair, going with your natural hairstyle isn't just about confidence and positive body image, it’s about time management and general laziness too. I love my naturally curly hair, I really do, but if it didn't take five years to flat iron my hair, I might go with the sleek look more often. Because straight hair is really pretty too.
4. Untangling Your Hair Becomes A 20-Minute Job
Even with my awesome tangle teezer comb, it still takes around ten minutes to comb my hair after I shower, (which is the only time I comb it, btw, because combing curly hair when its dry is asking for monster frizz) and back before I had my tangle-teezer, it took me an average of 20 minutes to comb all my tangles out. Honestly, I'm not exaggerating even a little bit.
5. Drying Your Hair Takes Forever
I almost always air-dry my hair because I really do think it looks better, I know it's healthier for my hair, and I'm also kind of lazy. But however I decide to dry it, it always takes for-e-ver. When I shower at night, I know that even after eight hours of sleep I'm going to wake up with my hair slightly damp. And on the rare occasions that I do dry my hair with a hair dryer, it takes so long that I usually give up and quit before the job is done.
6. Coconut Oil Becomes Your Savior
Long hair takes a lot of maintenance. And long, curly hair with hair-dye in it takes even more maintenance. So, I use a lot of coconut oil. At least once a week I deep condition with it to prevent my locks from turning into straw, and it always works. I've become so dependent on it to keep my long hair in good shape that I honestly feel anxious when the jar starts to run low.
7. People Frequently Play With Your Hair — Without Your Permission
One of the hazards of having Rapunzel hair is the fact that a lot of people are going to want to touch it. Girls at work, buddies, and babies with astonishingly strong, little hands are always playing with my hair. Don't get me wrong, it's very flattering, but sometimes it would be nice to be asked first, you know?
8. You Accidentally Sit/Lay On It Constantly
I can't sit on my futon, cuddle my cat, or do yoga without getting my hair stuck between whatever surface I'm laying/stretching on and some part of my body. Not to mention all the hilarious sex snafus long hair causes. Which reminds me, if you're new to having sex with long hair let me just save you some pain and tell you now — missionary is not your friend.
9. It Gets In the Way During Make Out Sessions
Unfortunately, everyone I've ever made out with during my long hair phases has had my hair in their mouth at some point. As have I. It's super gross, and I try really hard to keep it out of the way, but without putting all my hair in a Pebbles bun, some amount of hair-in-mouth is just unavoidable. But I like to think my kissing skills make up for It.
10. Your Head Sometimes Goes Numb In Updos
Speaking of Pebbles buns, high updos suck when you have long hair. I do them occasionally anyway, because they're bewitching, and because sometimes I just need all this hair the hell out of my face, but even when I do them right it usually hurts a bit until the sweet relief of scalp-numbness sets in from all that weight.
11. Your Hair Appointments Seem To Last Even Longer
Anyone with long hair knows that going to the salon means clearing almost an entire day. Every time I've ever gone to a hair appointment with long hair my appointments have lasted for hours, and without fail there's always at least one customer who gets in her chair after me but leaves long before I do. It's okay though, the resulting gorgeousness is always worth the wait.
12. You Sometimes Fantasize About Chopping It All Off
This usually happens to me in the summer, when my hair starts sticking to my neck every time I go outside. I do a lot of unintentionally creepy staring at girls rocking pixie cuts, my Google search history starts to fill up with variations of, "short cuts for curly hair," and all my friends are forced to listen to my incessant pros and cons lists on the subject.
13. ... But You Sort Of Believe It Holds Magic Powers
No matter how much I've fantasized about chopping off my long hair, I haven't actually gone through with it in years. Because I love having long hair. Sure, it's a pain in the scalp sometimes, but it makes me feel beautiful. Plus, as I've said before, I'm fairly certain my hair is the source of all my powers.