Thanksgiving is great and all, but if you are anything like me, a twentysomething racing frantically from my job to the bar and back, and living hundreds of miles away from my family, you kick off the holidays mid-November with the noble tradition of Friendsgiving. And, as a Friendsgiving expert, you know that whatever Friendsgiving potluck dish you bring to the festivities actually says a lot about your personality. Whether you prefer sweet potato or green bean casserole, store-bought pie or something homemade, each Friendsgiving dish reflects plenty about the person who brought it.
For the uninitiated, Friendsgiving is an occasion for city-dwelling young people to gather round the table in a bacchanal of turkey, stuffing, and proclaiming how thankful we are for the second families we choose. Traditionally, the host makes the turkey, and the attendees each bring a side.
With the holidays fully upon us, prepare your body and soul for a solid month of cinnamon-spiked booze, festive sweaters, cheese balls, and carbs on top of carbs. But with the emotional reunion of family and friends comes serious introspection. In case you were wondering, here is a purely logical and analytical assessment of what your Friendsgiving potluck dish says about you.
You know the importance of a signature fragrance, and you are on a first name basis with your neighborhood florist. You find nothing contrived about a French manicure and monogram necklace, and your gym clothes almost always match. You know that there is zero shame in being the "mom friend," and are proud to know your credit score on any given month. There are tissues, Midol, and a collapsible umbrella in your purse right now. You have called yourself the Charlotte of your friend group, and you stand by it.
2. Cranberry Sauce
You were obsessed with finger tattoos, dark lipstick, and layered jewelry before Pinterest found out about them. Your casual braided hairstyles and effortlessly thrown together outfits could have their own lifestyle blog, but that’s just kind of tired now, you know? At least one of your exes has a ponytail. You have a “signature cocktail” that requires at least three ingredients that you like to order with a French accent. Friends often admit to finding you “intimidating” before they got to know you. You secretly take this as a compliment.
3. Store-Bought Pie
You are one of those people who says “everything” when asked their favorite music. You can appreciate a good crop top and nose piercing, but you find hipsters exhausting. Is it so wrong to like something that’s popular? You drink cheap rosé, because you can’t tell the difference. Your favorite leisure activities are watching Food Network while eating takeout, and tagging friends in funny Instagram memes. You still love a good Forever 21 party dress.
4. Craft Beer
Wherever you are, you just want everyone to have a good time. Sure, your fridge is empty, and you fell asleep in your clothes last night. But people love you. You're still friends with your high school BFFs, and guys think you're a "cool girl" for your genuine interest in sports. Coworkers depend on you to plan Friday happy hour. Your easygoing nature means you're usually forgiven for being late, because you couldn't find your keys. Your t-shirt collection is on point, and you rock a messy bun better than most. You're a dog person.
5. Homemade Pie
You have no patience for people who can’t take a compliment, and accept the many that are given to you graciously. It took dedication and sacrifice to achieve the most Instagram followers of your friend group. You know the struggle was worth it, even if that one friend still hasn’t forgiven you for untagging yourself from her photos because her overfiltered shots weren't “on brand.” People who skate through life and give you no extra credit for how hard you try fill you with a barely controllable rage.
6. Green Bean Casserole
The fear that you are “basic” is a plague on your existence. Sometimes, you wonder if life would be simpler if you just admitted that you really miss Gossip Girl, and that FOMO is the only reason you go out most of the time. You over-plucked your brows in 2005, and have never recovered. Your hair is your best feature.
Aren’t you a wild card! You think that people call you quirky and adorable, but in reality, people find you a little strange. Your workout of choice is something that only exists in college towns and major cities, like parkour or nude yoga. You had an unconventional pet growing up, and are still trying to convince people of the joys of rat or chameleon ownership.
8. Mashed Potatoes
You say that you prefer the “natural look,” but really, makeup just confuses you. People who prefer dresses over jeans also confuse you. Are dresses really more comfortable than pants? The happiest you ever were was playing sports in college.
9. Sweet Potato Casserole
Sweet and earnest, your friendship is too pure for this world. Your nightmare is not being the first to respond to a friend’s engagement/breakup/baby shower, so you have a stash of hand-painted greeting cards ready for every occasion. Your favorite books are young adult novels, or ones written by Jane Austen, preferably read under a blanket with a cup of tea. Tinder makes you a little uncomfortable. You need to stop biting your nails.
10. Fireball Whisky
You think mottos are for boring people, but if you had one, it would be “die young, stay pretty.” You aren’t really a relationship person, but you hate sleeping alone. Has someone at this party seen you naked? Yes. Do you remember who? Maybe. You have a cushy financial situation, but try not to make a big deal about it. Your over-the-top sense of humor could conceal a deep layer of hurt and insecurity. Or, maybe you're over your friends' ex drama, and are just trying to shake things up. Who really cares? SHOTS!
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