Now that December has finally arrived, there are only a few weeks left until you have to spend some time with your family. No one's family is perfect, and there is always a little bit of drama to be had when everyone gets together. Instead of dreading the family gathering, there are ways to learn how to cope with the drama. You know, besides stuffing your face with so much sweet potato that you can't breathe. Although that's cool, too.
When it comes to family, it automatically involves a little bit of baggage. I love my family and I know that I will always have a great time during the holidays. We normally blast Spanish music and we stuff our faces with plenty of food. Somehow, though, drama always seems to sneak in through the cracks. A passive aggressive remark could be said or a past event could come up (because you know they always do) and hurt someone's feelings. No matter what though, there is always going to be a bit of drama when it comes to family, but sometimes, it's best not to get involved. If you are going to be spending the holidays with your family and you don't know how to handle the drama, below are a few tips that diminish the extra stress so you can solely focus on the holidays cookies.
1. Don't Get Sucked Up In The Drama
If you get involved or gossip about your family issues, you are now part of the drama. If someone needs to vent, that's a different story, but try not to add fuel to the fire — it's just not worth it. Instead of arguing about it at the dinner table, try to change the conversation to something more positive. Talk about things that are happening in your life that have been going well, or ask positive questions that will influence another conversation. I try to do this when I feel the drama is just spiraling out of control. It usually works, and we start to laugh about something else, thankfully.
2. Laugh It Off
Of course this depends on the situation, but if it's just the typical thing that happens all the time in your family, then you can just laugh it off. Making light of a situation will help you understand how serious it actually isn't. By doing this, you are relieving any stress you might've balled up inside. For me, it helps when I have someone there with me that understands the issue at hand. Usually that involves my boyfriend or my mother. Once we start to laugh and turn things around, it usually helps the other family members to loosen up as well. According to Science Beta, laughing can relieve stress and gives renewed boost of energy. Try to do this as often as possible. It will help keep the mood light and free of drama.
3. Don't Respond To Passive Aggressive Comments
Just don't bite the bait. There are always a few family members that thrive on drama. I don't know what it is, but they either never got over a situation or something else is going on. Either way, they love to make passive aggressive comments about past situations and it always hits a nerve with the family. Instead of getting all Ronda Rousey on them, it's best to just let the situation go and ignore it, or pull them aside later and talk about it. It's more than likely that someone misunderstood a situation and it just needs to be resolved. According to About Health, there are plenty of ways to resolve conflict, but each party has to want to do it. You can't force a situation, if the other person is not willing to listen. It just won't work.
4. Learn To Accept Them
This is probably your best bet when it comes to your family. This will make a much more positive impact on your well-being and mental state. When you are trying to wrap your head around as to why a person is doing such things, it will only drive you crazy. Instead, learn to accept your family members for who they are, and take everything they do with a grain of salt. As an article on Elite Daily pointed out, it's best to accept your family and change your friends. When it comes to your family, you can't change them. While, of course, you should never accept abuse from your family, make sure the lighter issues that do occur are accepted because it's not worth stressing over.
5. Talk About The Drama Another Time
Whatever you do, don't get involved in the drama during the holiday. If there is a situation you would like to talk about with a certain individual family member, try and save that chat for another time. It's best to do this when other family members can't get involved and put their two cents in. If you have the luxury of being able to calmly talk to your loved ones, then that's great! But if you have a family like mine where you feel like you are talking to a wall, then it might be best to talk about the situation when you have the time to do so. If not, it might be a good idea to forgive and forget — depending on how serious the situation is, of course. But to agree to negotiate the situation at hand is usually a good idea.
6. Don't Let Them Control Your Feelings
No one can make you feel a certain way besides you. If you try to express yourself and they are not taking you seriously, just keep on doing you. They are who they are and whatever they choose to say or do shouldn't control your feelings or make you feel bad about yourself. Unfortunately, some family can just be toxic, but once you figure out that your family is only an extension of you, then life will be much easier.
Don't let the family burst your holiday bubble. No matter what, they will be there for you through thick and thin (because that is what family is for), but remember that not every family is picture perfect. Just remember to laugh things off, and if anything, just hang out with the family dog. They are always cool.
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