8 Reasons Jeans Are The Worst Because There's Never Enough Stretch
Fall and winter are the best seasons for fashion, in my humble opinion — luxe chunky sweaters, trendy boots, and stylish layering pieces all make their way into the wardrobe rotation. But there's one staple I do hate wearing: Jeans. There are so many reasons why jeans are the worst, because really, they are.
Getting dressed this time of year can be so fun despite the chilly temps, whether you're opening your closet doors for an event or everyday wear. There are tons of fun, fabulous textures and fabrics to choose from. Twill, tulle, velvet, faux fur... really, do we even need denim? I mean, if you wear something like Adele's coat from her "Hello" video, chances are no one will even notice the stretchy leggings you're sporting underneath. (And they especially won't notice if you're singing it, too. No shame.)
Here's what I propose. How about a full-on boycott of jeans for the rest of the season? When you're not working a fancy cocktail dress at your next holiday party, there's nothing saying you shouldn't be putting your favorite leggings and sweats to good use. Yeah, jeans can be a part of some amazing cold-weather outfits, but sometimes, they're not worth the trouble.
Need more convincing? Here are eight reasons jeans are the worst.
Denim Is Too Restrictive
What if I want to, like, head out on an impromptu hike? (Read: sprawl out on the couch in a position my mother calls "very unladylike.") Jeans don't give you many options when it comes to movement. Let me LIVE, denim.
They Don't Keep You Warm
Ever heard of fleece-lined jeans? Me neither. But fleece-lined leggings are totally a thing, and they are straight-up amazing. 'Tis the season for cozy fabrics that'll keep you toasty, and jeans definitely don't fall into that category.
They Refuse To Dry
Heading out into the rain or snow? Leave the jeans behind. Denim is pretty much the opposite of Nike DryFit, because once you venture out into the wet elements, your legs are toast. Cold, soggy, jean-hating toast.
Jeans Shopping Is A Nightmare
Second only to bras, jean shopping should have had a mention in Dante's Inferno. Big surprise, there are more body types than there are jean sizes, so finding the right fit is endlessly frustrating. If I have to try on one more pair of jeans with a butt that's too small or inseams that are too short... I just can't.
They Don't Keep Their Shape
If you do get lucky enough to come upon a pair of jeans worthy of your love, enjoy it while you can. Jeans are notorious for their tendency to lose their shape. Yeah, yeah, I know we're not supposed to wash and dry denim after every wear, but what am I supposed to do when I hate the way they feel six hours in? The struggle.
"Stretchy" Jeans? Pshh
HA. Stretchy jeans have the most misleading name, because mark my words, they are not stretchy by actual stretchy standards. Unless you've invested in a pair of pajama jeans (side note: let me know what you think), stretchy jeans just are not stretchy enough.
They're Horrible For Thanksgiving Dinner
This one has absolutely nothing to do with looks and everything to do with comfort — seriously, how am I supposed to tuck into a plate full of turkey in a waistband that just does not give? Nah, I like to enjoy my eating-focused holidays (aka all of them.) Thank you, festive dress, for making it look like I'm trying when I'm really just setting myself up for an awesome meal.
You wanna know the real reason jeans suck? They're pants. And pants suck. Excluding my beloved yoga leggings and jogger-style sweats, I am seriously pants averse in general. Calling it: Jeans, you are not a casual, comfortable alternative to twill office pants or professional silk trousers. Long live skirts, dresses, and leggings.
Images: Chelsea Francis (2), Kaboom Pics/Pexels; Chelsea Francis/Unsplash; Unsplash (2)/Pixabay; FTFSnaps, faustoarins, angharadbjones/Twitter