Life

The ONE Thing You Should Do To Improve Solo Sex

We all know that masturbation is amazing. There are huge health benefits of orgasm, which you can get from masturbation whether or not you have partner, it's a great stress reliever, and it's just a damned good time. And if you're like me, you probably think you're a masturbation pro. You know exactly what you like, you know how to do it, and it always goes off magically. Great. But just because it's already good, doesn't mean it can't get better. So what's the one thing you can do to up your masturbation game?

Mix it up.

Seriously. And I am the worst person at this. I just don't do it. I have my go-to vibrator, my go-to routine, even some go-to porn videos. It's not great. Plus I don't leave enough time for it, so even though I masturbate a lot it's normally in a rushed, squeezed in-between the gym and going out sort of way. And when you don't leave enough time or make a bit of an occasion out of it, it's easy to just fall back into exactly the same thing over and over. We don't give ourselves the same excitement or romance or playfulness we do with a partner, but we should. We really, really should. There are lots of reasons mixing it up is so important.

1. Treat Yourself

I mean the whole point of masturbation is to treat yourself, isn't it? So you may as well do it right. Really indulge. Give yourself the time to set the mood or try out a new toy or look up a new technique. Don't make it the same old hum-drum routine, even if it's a sure-fire way to finish. Mixing it up means that you really need to put aside a little time that's just for you. But you totally deserve it. Sex pyschotherapist Vanessa Marin suggests 20-30 minutes a week, but if you have a spare half an hour a day, I say go for it.

2. Prevent Getting Desensitized

Good masturbation should make your sex life better, not worse. But if you're only masturbating in one way it can do just that. Marin points out that if you're doing the same thing over and over, and that's how you get used to reaching orgasm, it can make it difficult to orgasm in other ways. In turn that can obviously can have an effect on your sex life. Your masturbation will be better, and your sex will be better, if you add some variety.

3. Discover New Things

Speaking of making your sex better, if you mix it up when you masturbate you'll discover new feelings, new sensations, even new techniques that you didn't know you loved. You can keep them just for you, or introduce them into the bedroom. It's great to have old standbys to fall back on, but there are so many things even the most experienced haven't tried, so up your masturbation game and go exploring.

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Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy (3)