5 Reasons Why You Should Masturbate Before Work
What does your morning routine consist of? Probably a shower, some make-up time, a cup of coffee or two. All of those things are great ways to get ready for your day, but you know what could make your mornings even better? An orgasm. Yup, you heard that right: masturbating first thing in the morning is a great way to start the day on the right, um… foot. Packed with health and beauty benefits, orgasms are good for you. Forget coffee and throw away that foundation, ‘cause coming is your new booster and your new beauty routine.
If you’re worried that you don’t have enough time in the morning to add in a masturbation session, I’d suggest practicing in the evenings, when you’re not under pressure. Trust me, with a little practice you’ll be able to get yourself off in less time that it takes to brew that cup of coffee. Also, remember that your bed is the absolute nicest, warmest place in the world in the morning. You’re already there, you’re probably at least half naked anyway, and don’t you want an excuse to stay in bed for one more snooze cycle? Just remind yourself that you’re not being lazy; you’re taking care of your health .
Still not totally convinced that masturbation is the best way to start the day? I spoke with Kit Maloney — founder of the female pleasure company O’actually, which is currently running a daily orgasm Pleasure Pledge — to bring you five awesome benefits getting off in the morning will give you.
1. Less Stress
If you, like so many of us, start your day feeling super stressed, masturbating can be a great way natural way to relieve some of it. In fact, Maloney says it can even adjust your stress hormones!
“Masturbation/orgasms lead the body to flush out cortisol, a major stress hormone in the body, leaving you more calm, happy and balanced,” Maloney tells Bustle. “Who wouldn't want those qualities for their co-workers, bosses, or employees?!”
2. Better Focus
In order to focus, your brain needs some downtime. And is there better downtime than that provided by orgasm?
“Masturbation/orgasms is like meditation,” Maloney says. “It allows the space for the monkey brain to quiet and that means you'll be more focused and effective with your to-do list afterward!”
3. Boosted Immune System
Orgasming doesn’t only feel good, it is good for your body. According to a Wilkes University study, frequent orgasms boost your immune system — people who had sex weekly or more had a 30 percent increase in immunoglobulin A, which strengthens immunity. Best flu-fighting hack ever.
4. Natural Beauty-Booster
Orgasms boost your blood flow, which brings color to your cheeks, plumps up your lips, and contributes to that sparkle in your eye. DHEA also aids in the production of collagen, which means that more orgasms producing more DHEA means smoother skin. Botox? Who needs that crap?
5. Better Work Performance
Sometimes all you need is a break. So why not take a break and have an orgasm? (In an appropriate place, of course.)
“Just last week I found myself with a rather hectic day,” Maloney says. “I was smack in the middle of a move from CA to CO. I was juggling work and racing the clock to prepare for a podcast interview that I had been looking forward to for weeks! I then took a breath, remembered the Pleasure Pledge, and found the 15 minutes or so I needed. With a renewed sense of energy and excitement I gave one of the best interviews of my life!”
Orgasms are good for the body and brain and they just feel good. So why not add one to your morning routine? You might be surprised by what a difference it makes!
This post was originally published on June 18, 2015. It was updated on August 12, 2019.