Golden Girl Grannie Panties Are Here, So Gird Your Loins — PHOTOS
Meet the newest addition to my ever increasing list of human genius found on the internet: an Etsy shop is selling grannie panties featuring Golden Girls designs, Huffington Post reports. Bullets And Bees shop owner Candice Pugh is offering four different designs, each featuring a different dame from the '80s sitcom, and tailored to the character's personality. This is the perfect opportunity to jump on the granny pantie bandwagon if it suits you, because aside from being the obvious choice where the health of your lady bits are concerned, granny panties have so much more square footage to cover in tacky-but-awesome designs.
Under the tagline "Not your grannies panties," Bullets And Bees carries a bevy of quirky and fun designs, including a set with Bernie Sanders' face, fallopian tubes, and my personal favorite for its potential to pun, kittens. The panties are handmade, ranging between $35-40 per piece, but if you're out to make an impression with your friends for the holidays by golly will these get you there, budget be damned. And if you're truly dedicated, you can even pick up a pack of all four, which includes Blanche's indispensable crotchless number. Could these be any more perfect?
Golden Girls 4 Pack, $160, Etsy
Now one question remains: what panties would the Golden Girls pick if they were to shop for undies today?
Sport Period Panties, $32, Thinx
Practical Dorothy would head straight for these period panties in her pre-menopause years.
Valea Lingerie Bra Set, $35, Baroness
Rose had a long and — er — happy marriage before her husband died. She'd make a beeline for something sweet and frilly, and nothing is sweeter and frillier than bridal lingerie.
Sophie is proud of her Sicilian roots, and what better way to express that than with a geographic thong?
Lace & Mesh High Neck Garter Slip, $118, Victorias Secret
Blanche was the most sexually liberal Golden Girl, so logically she would have lived in Victoria's Secret.
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Images: bulletsandbees/Etsy, Courtesy Brands