In elementary school, we whispered. In high school, we passed notes. In college, we sent text messages. In Adultland, we Gchat. That's how friends and co-workers communicate while they're supposed to be doing other things. Because like in school, Adultland requires us to appear busy and focused on the job, rather than on our social lives.
But what teachers and bosses don't care to understand is that our social lives don't take breaks for class or work. Our need to share our every thought with our closest friends does not cease just because school is in session or the work day has begun. Our inability to let any inappropriate remark pass us by before sharing with a coworker is real.
And so on the eighth day, God gave us Gchat; the chat function brought to us by Google that allows us to keep our phones and notepads stowed while we click and type away at our computer screens looking busy and focused while we recap last night's murder count on Scream Queens or ask our friends questions we're too lazy to Google. And because of it, our work days are tolerable and our friendships are intact. Can you imagine the amount of bathroom breaks we'd have to fake if we didn't have Gchat? I shudder to think. Here are a few important Gchat conversations you've definitely had, or maybe are still having. IDK, send me a message.
What Should We Eat For Lunch?
There are so many lunch options and so little time. Often lunch is the only salivation of the day so it must be chosen wisely. So you ask your bestie what they plan on eating for lunch to help inspire your decision. Or you work together on picking the perfect lunch.
Should I Go To The Doctor For This?
Your head hurts, you have a hang nail, your mole looks like it's growing, and you had a weird dream about that band Alien Ant Farm last night so something must be up with your bod. WedMD has scared the crap out of you so you need to talk to your bestie, run your symptoms by them and decide by their reaction if an expensive copay is worth it.
Click This Link
You've just read 17 Reasons Why Grilled Cheese Is Ruining Your Love Life so obviously you're going to share the wisdom with your bestie. It's no fun to read an article alone. You send the link to your bestie so they can read it and you can discuss its validity together.
Google This Person
You just matched with someone on a dating app that looks pretty impressive. He says he's a CEO but not of anything in particular and he looks a little bit like one of Rory Gilmore's old love interests. But you can't find enough information on him, so you need your bestie to put their detective goggles on and help you scour the internet for evidence of his last name.
How Do You Feel About This Groupon Deal?
Cha cha classes could be fun right? Or a ceramic class, because even though it's expensive, you'll leave with a free mug, so it's worth it, right? No, no, forget both of those ideas, here's a four day trip to Mexico for only $500 ... no, no what about this Vajazzling class?
Remind Me Why I Hate My Ex
You know why your ex is bad news, but when you have a weak moment because they've uploaded a cute picture on Instagram or because someone pretty has started following them or because your favorite song came on the radio, you need to Gchat your bestie to have them remind you why you hate your ex — because they're the worst.
My Job Is Worse Than Yours
Everyone has at least one or two moments a day where they hate their job, and these moments are best spent complaining about to it your bestie over Gchat. You don't really hate your job, and your bestie might not really hate theirs, but when you both complain together, you make yourselves feel a bit better.
Don't Tell Anyone I Effed Up
During the course of a work day, you're bound to make a few mistakes. Whether you screwed up a report, missed a meeting, tripped over your feet, or spent the day walking around with your fly down, it's bound to happen. The shame an embarrassment will build up inside of you until you explode, or, until you tell your bestie over Gchat.
Let's Plan A Trip
Somehow it's only at work when your mind gets the travel bug. The florescent lights and upright chairs send your imagination into overdrive and you start thinking up the most amazing adventures. A hiking trip to the Arches in Utah? OK. The underground hotel in the Maldives? Yup. How about a walking tour through Europe? Sure. You and your bestie will discuss the horseback riding trips in Ireland and rock climbing adventures out west, but you'll never make it actually booking any tickets.
Is This Proof Jelena Is Back?
At some point in the day, a piece of Hollywood gossip will enter your awareness and you'll gab with your bestie about it. In no other forum than Gchat will you feel so comfortable talking about the evidence leaning towards a #Jelena reconciliation or Kylie Jenner Lipkit review. Long live Gchat.