What The Tanner Family's 'Full House' Christmas Wish Lists Would Look Like
If there's one household that you just know would be filled with holiday cheer, it's the Tanners. That's because this Full House family acts like it's the holiday season every day: every episode of this family sitcom taught you a lesson that would be equally as applicable for an ABC Family original Christmas movie. Whether it's the importance of taking care of your family, helping those in need, or appreciating everything that you have, the Tanners (and those in the house who weren't technically Tanners but might as well have been) knew how to embody the holiday season even when it wasn't actually the holidays. That's why, when the holidays do actually roll around, these guys deserve gifts that really speak to their personalities.
Since most of us have spent a good chunk of the '90s with the Tanner family, it shouldn't be very hard to pick out the gifts that the members of this family squad would freak out over. (Of course, with the crazy amount of people in this family, I silently hope that they do a Secret Santa thing... You could go into a lot of debt trying to buy something for every Tanner.) Just in case you get sucked into the television for a Very Special Christmas Episode of Full House, here are the perfect gifts for each member of the family.
Some people would say that Danny has an unhealthy obsession with cleaning. (Personally, I'd say, "Do you want to clean your own bathroom, Stephanie?" instead.) To support his hobby, Danny needs the Tesla of vacuums, and a yearly supply of Swiffer wet pads. (Because those things run out like, immediately.)
Sure, you could get Jesse Elvis memorabilia, or even a new guitar, but the practical thing would to be to get this guy a gift card for several sessions at a San Francisco blow dry bar. You know Jesse would appreciate anything that keeps his hair on fleek, even if he doesn't know what "on fleek" means.
Let's be honest: Joey kind of needs a new schtick. And by new schtick, I obviously mean "a new puppet." Get Joey a customized beaver puppet, and he'll be doing impressions for you all year long.
Remember how Michelle fell off that horse, and then lost all her memory of her family? In the Tanner family, there's no such thing as not getting back on that horse, literally or figuratively, which is why the only appropriate present for Michelle is a pony.
Stephanie grew into a hip teenager. Get this girl a gift card to Zara, and call it a day. Like most teenagers, she'd just return anything else.
D.J. is a college girl now, and, if there's one thing that college women need, it's a solid black blazer. Maybe let Aunt Becky pick this one out?
Becky isn't a Tanner, but, if I had to pick a favorite member of the Tanner household, it would have to be Aunt Becky. She has a high-powered job, is the only one around to give womanly advice to her nieces, and has to raise twins in an attic: someone send this woman on beach vacation, stat.
While sending Kimmy to Pittsburgh might be something that benefits everyone, so would getting Kimmy a few pairs of clean, fresh-smelling socks.
Merry Christmas, Tanners and Tanners-at-heart. Hope you get everything on your wish list.
Images: Warner Bros. Television; Giphy (8)