What Not To Say To Singles During The Holidays

by Lindsay Tigar

I’m one of the rare, lucky ladies in her late 20s who has (amazing!) parents who never give her a hard time about being single. Even though I’ve lived in New York for 5.5 years (and counting) and I’ve yet (yet!) to bring a significant other home for the holidays, they don’t care. And they don’t ask. Instead, they try their best to encourage me not to be bitter and fill me up with wine and terrible, awesome old comedies, and lots of sleep to recover from the busy city.

But the majority of my fellow single women friends aren’t quite as fortunate to have parents or friends or aunts or uncles who pry into why they can’t seem to find a relationship.

While my parents aren’t naggers, there are a few folks in my life who want to offer love advice with very good intentions (or perhaps, they’re just curious?) who say things that could make anyone who's single feel not so great about themselves.

From putting down your preferences to questioning how long you’ll actually be fertile, when it comes to dinner talk conversation or chats while opening gifts or attending a service, there are some common questions that may make single people uncomfortable. Of course, these things may not bother every single person out there, but it may be wise to steer clear of saying these things this time of year.

1. “Did you hear about that *insert every dating website or app ever*? My sister’s best friend’s sorority sister’s cousin found the love of her life on it!”

Good for her, but I got an unsolicited dick pic on that same app today.

2. “How have you not met someone in such a big city? There must be someone.”

If you have any idea on how to do it, I'm all ears.

3. “Maybe you’re too picky.”

Nothing wrong with knowing what I deserve — and what I don't.

4. “Maybe next year you’ll bring home someone wonderful!”

Can I get a refill on this wine?

5. “I know someone you would LOVE.”

I'm suddenly... busy. Forever.

6. “Well, at least you don’t have to buy gifts for anyone. It’s so expensive.”

This is awkward. Your partner is right. there.

7. “I can’t believe you’re not married yet! You’re SO pretty!”


8. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad… I just want you to be happy.”


9. “I thought you wanted children?”

Next subject, please!

10. “But what happened to that *insert someone you dated for five seconds many years ago*? He/she was nice!”

The one who was in college while I was in high school and we dated for two weeks one summer? Umm. Married? I think?

11. “You have a lot going for you, don’t worry it’ll happen.”

That's right. Now, can someone please pass the mashed potatoes?

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