7 Signs Your Wardrobe Has Officially Gone Into Winter Survival Mode
In the beginning of December, not many of us are ready to throw in the towel when it comes to winter fashion. On the contrary, the majority of us are super pumped! It's time for salted caramel hot chocolates while wrapped up in plaid blanket scarves; for candy cane-colored everything and for tinsel dresses. And now that snow might be threatening (or is already in heaps and heaps on the ground) many are beginning to pull out the heavy fisherman knits and slide into pretty leather boots.
But all that cheer lasts a grand total of 10 minutes. Then you step outside, have the wind creep down the collar of your coat, slap you across the face a couple of times, and you're back to wishing it was mid-July and you were sitting outside with bare shoulders. It's all fun and cuddly sweaters until you're stuck standing in the elements for 15 minutes, waiting for the train. No thanks.
During moments like those, you're likely to give up on fashion and go full Michelin Man, gearing up in six layers and ready to take on winter with a fight. Below are the seven warning signs you're about to slip into survival mode and give up on winter fashion altogether; because you should be ready for the beginning of the end.
1. You Wear The Same Exact Sweater For A Third Day In A Row
Remember back in September when you were running like a madwoman through the sweater section of stores, nervous that your winter wardrobe was completely lacking? When the cold finally hit, what were you going to wear? Surely you needed a good 10 or so knits in circulation to get you through the nippy season. I mean, you couldn't show up in bars wearing the same thing over and over again like some sort of cartoon character.
Enter you getting out of bed, tossing on that same sweater you wore practically all week long, and leaving the apartment without so much as a glance in the mirror. It's warm, it's cuddly, and that's all you care about.
2. You Reach For Your Pretty Booties Less And Less
You have those fly booties that you bought during the Barneys sale; the ones that cost you more than you're ever willing to admit to your mom. You had grand plans of wearing them stylishly all winter long, and while you had every intention of doing so, you somehow keep skipping over them in lieu of your fuzzy boots. The big, hideous, insanely warm and cozy ones.
I mean, they work just as well with your Friday night dress, right?
3. You Change Your Whole Outfit So You Can Wear Leggings
You were about to wear that black and gold dress — the one that looks slightly Balmain-inspired — for going out with your friends on Saturday. But then you thought you might want to wear that one striped sweater instead. The one that, um, doesn't really have any pizzazz and might be housing a moth hole or two. Alright, fine, you chose it because you want to wear leggings. It's cold and you want them. That's not a crime, is it?
4. You Bundle Up To The Nines For Your Date
I'm not saying you should show up as covered as Lady Godiva on her horse, but when you put on two coats, a ski cap, and a blanket scarf so big it could drown one of the Olsen twins, you know you're starting to slide into survival mode. Because no element can get past that outfit, let alone a date.
5. You Buy A Coat That Could Double As A Duvet
It's been all Parisian-inspired peacoats and charming winter jackets with toggle buttons in your rotation this season. That is, until out of nowhere you whip out this goose-down monstrosity of a number: One that looks like a duvet cover with a belt when you zip it up. It's hideous and a sin against fashion, but man does it keep you warm. And that's all that matters when you go out there to cross the tundra.
6. Heels Are Permanently Off Your Radar
You know you're starting to slide into survival mode when the following scenario plays out: You ask your friend which boots to wear with your outfit, and she suggests you go with those smart strappy heels instead. And you laugh, and laugh, and laugh.
7. You Begin To Shop For Socks More Than Outfits
Remember back in the day when you'd walk into a department store and go straight for the dresses? Ooh-ing and ahh-ing over pretty patterns and kaleidoscopic colors, imagining where you'd wear them to? Those were the lazy, hazy summer days.
But now you find yourself beelining it for the wool sock section, cooing over the thickness of the five-packs like you were an 80-year-old woman. But when the snow is hip deep, that's all you care about, and who could blame you?
Good luck with this winter, my fellow fashion lovers. Since I won't be able to recognize you on the streets behind the ski masks and fuzzy knit scarves, see ya come spring.
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Images: ygr_mstr/Unsplash (1); Marlen Komar (1)