Celebrities Reading Drake's "Hotline Bling" Lyrics Out Loud Is The Best Thing You'll See All Day — VIDEO
This is truly a golden age to be alive, people — and if you should need any reinforcement of that statement, then you really need not look any further than at all of the many "Hotline Bling" parody videos and memes which infiltrated the Internet immediately after the release of Drake's now iconic music video. (Good job, Internet!) A true round of applause needs to go to the truly committed crew over at W Magazine, though, who have stepped up their Drake tributes to the next level with a video of 13 celebrities reading the lyrics to "Hotline Bling." It's pretty amazing.
Drawing talent from across a myriad of genres, the video utilizes the skills of comedy giants such as Kristen Wiig, Amy Schumer, and Seth Rogen, true Hollywood Thespians such as Paul Dano, Rooney Mara, and Joel Edgerton and indie sweethearts Greta Gerwig, Maika Monroe, and Saoirse Ronan to truly delve deep into the lyrical content of Drake's much parodied tune.
The video is incredibly revealing about how each star feels about the song (and the underlying content of it!), with some actors reveling in their opportunity to dramatize the lyrics while others treat it as a chance to let their Drake-flag fly, enjoying the moment with an unapologetic sing-a-long and dance. (My kind of people!)
Let's take a closer look at exactly who nailed the piece.
Schumer performs a line which has given many Drake-loving feminists a bit of grief and totally nails it, saying "You've got a reputation for yourself now..." and pulling a judgmental face — which is all on Drake, rather than the woman he's saying it to. I love you, Amy.
Performance rating: 5/5 — Hero
Oof, I don't know about you but I have major confused romantic feelings towards Cranston which totally aren't helped by his seductive reading of "Hotline Bling." My face flew into a flush the second he said, "...that can only mean one thing." Yowza.
Performance Rating: 5/5 — Hot stuff
Characteristically deadpan, Wiig reads the lyrics like a girlfriend calling up her bae to complain about his incessant phone calls.
Performance Rating: 3/5 — Classic Wiig
Larson's rendition is total shoegaze, like a delightfully awkward teenager giving it her best at a school talent contest (performed with an obligatory eye roll, of course).
Performance Rating: 3/5 — #AwkwardKaraokeGoal
Oh dear. I know what Banks was trying to do here but it's kind of awkward. Don't rap the words, just let your heart speak them.
Performance Rating: 1/5 — Say it with your soul!
You've got to give this girl props for just how much she loves the song and isn't afraid to show it.
Performance Rating: 4/5 — Great voice, great form, great moves!
Mara's rendition of "Hotline Bling" left plenty to be desired, as she read the lyrics with all the pizazz of a high school student forced to read out an essay on why they are always late to class. Great hair and tux combo, though.
Performance Rating: 1/5 — Hotline meh
Rogen totally kills it, adding a little of his own character to the song and making it sound like he's neurotically reeling off all the problems he has with his girl to a table full of bar chums.
Performance Rating: 4.5/5 — Dazzling
So charming! Seriously, I wish we could put Dano's segment on a hotline all of it's own to give me someone to call at 2 a.m. on a Sunday morning after a few too many white wine cocktails.
Performance Rating: 5/5 — Would call on a regular basis
Jennifer Jason Leigh
Beyond cool, as always, Jason Leigh's reading has something of a beatnik feel to the whole thing and I'm loving it.
Performance Rating: 3/5 — Coffee shop cool
I'm just going to pitch this right here and now: Do Ronan and Monroe ever want to meet up and grab some drinks and just hit the dancefloor with me some time? Because Monroe is throwing shapes from the same school of don't give a damn that I, Ronan and Drake also happen to be graduates from.
Performance Rating: 5/5 — New BFF
Gerwig is one of the coolest actresses on the planet and she delivers "Hotline Bling" lyrics in such a way that she could easily be just ordering coffee via their lines, and nobody would ever think it weird.
Performance Rating: 4/5 — Make that a tall, iced latte — beyond cool
Giving us reaction shots which make it seem like he's analying the context of the lyrics as he delivers them, Edgerton seems both bewildered and heartbroken at the same time.
Performance Rating: 2/5 — He's no professor of the Hotline
If there's one lasting lesson we can enjoy from this video, it's that sometimes it isn't what's being said but rather who's saying it and how that truly matters. Check out the video for yourself below, and enjoy.
Images: WMagazine/YouTube (14)