Making New Year's resolutions can suck the soul right out of your body. It starts off innocently enough with setting motivational goals, but most of us are left with a bunch of New Year's resolutions that just end up making us feel inadequate and depressed, only to repeat the cycle come next January. There is nothing wrong with trying to become the best version of yourself, but many of us become focused on transforming into someone completely different through a lofty to-do list for the year ahead. All too often, our resolutions bring us down rather than help us focus on our goals for the upcoming months, and if you ask me, that's just not a productive use of anyone's time.
It's the worst possible way to begin anew, you guys. We can still get motivated, stay motivated, and remain the awesome humans we already are, without changing too much about our lifestyle and personality. It is possible. So instead of setting ourselves up for failure before the new year even begins by promising to do things our hearts aren't really into, let's wipe out all the ridiculous resolutions we are used to making, and never make them again. Never ever. Here are mine.
1. "I will work out five days a week."
It's a nice goal, sure. But at the same time, it's pointless. I'm only going to work out that often if I actually enjoy the activity, and if I love it that much, I might just do it every day of the week. So the goal should instead be, "I will find a physical activity I love, and I will find time to do it because I enjoy it."
2. "I will stop eating sugar/gluten/carbs/fat altogether."
Unless this order comes from a doctor, or is based on an actual health issue, don't put yourself through this. If you take extreme measures to cut out something entirely, you will replace it with something else that could cause its own set of issues if consumed in excess. Your diet should always be balanced, and with balance comes optimum health.
3. "I will learn a new language by ____."
If you make a resolution feel like a class assignment, you will never complete it. It will feel like a chore, and you won't make time for it. Break a goal like this down into smaller pieces, like, "I will learn how to say "Yasss queen" in every language." Because that's actually fun!
4. "I will become a morning person."
You're only making this resolution if you're a night owl, and if you're a night owl, you will never become a morning person. So just stop. If you need to get up early occasionally, you will, but you're fighting your body's natural energy process by trying to be something you're not. Morning people are not better than night owls, and vice versa. Whichever you are, just learn how to be your most efficient.
5. "I will spend more time at work."
There's nothing wrong with being driven, and putting your career first. However, after several hours of working in a day, you lose that steam and just have to call it quits. Just kick ass every second while you're at work, and make sure to leave time at the end of each day to recharge so you can wake up and do it all again. That's how you get ahead. It's not about who stays at the office the longest. It's about who performs the best.
6. "I will be dating someone amazing by next New Year's Eve."
Everyone deserves to be blissfully in love, but learning how to be happy on your own is probably the most important lesson anyone can learn. When you figure out how to be content with your own company, you stop looking for someone else to give that to you. And when you stop looking, the right person usually shows up.
7. "I will read 100 books this year."
This might be a well-structured goal for some, but my brain gets locked in on specific numbers, and if that number isn't hit, the whole thing becomes a disappointment. So if you're like me, just drop the number and see what happens. "Read more books" is a solid goal on its own, and it's attainable, so a number isn't really needed.
8. "I will be more of an extrovert."
I used to hate and reject my natural introversion. I wanted to become the social butterfly who kills it at party convos and can meet new people without getting all sweaty and uncomfortable. But you know what? I like being an introvert now. I know what I bring to the table. I know I'm a great friend to my tiny inner circle. I'm no longer trying to change that part of myself, and embracing who you are is the best thing you can do.
9. "I will make more friends."
It's not about quantity, it's about quality. In fact, as long as I have my current trio of favorites, I could go several years without making any new friends.
10. "I will become a brand new person this year."
Nope. "I will become a BETTER person this year." Be you, always. Just be the best version you can be, and your resolution goals will be achieved.
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