Gift giving forces us to confront everything we know about the tastes and desires of our nearest and dearest, which is one of the many reasons that the holiday season can be so stressful. It's not weird to think I know my fictional television friends just as well, is it? What would the Game of Thrones characters want for Christmas?
Granted, Christmas is not a holiday that is celebrated in Westeros. Other than name day celebrations, we don't hear about any religious holidays in the fantasy universe. Frankly, I'm glad. I'm not sure I would want to celebrate whatever holiday the Old Gods, the Faith of the Seven, or Lord of Light had in mind. Plus, if weddings on Game of Thrones generate this much carnage, can you imagine how caroling would go? Even if they had some kind of religious feast, something tells me that it would be lacking in anything resembling Christmas cheer.
Still, the Game of Thrones characters could use some presents from the heart. What do you get someone who has lost their family, pride, home, and any hope for the future? Here are a few things I think the Starks, Lannisters, and everyone in between might want to brighten their day now that winter has come.
1. Sansa Stark
A break! But seriously, another one of those poison necklaces will do just fine...
2. Samwell Tarly
Books. All the books.
3. Daenerys Targaryen
A Dothraki To Common Tongue Dictionary you know, as a refresher.
4. Arya Stark
"Cersei, Walder Frey, Ser Ilyn Payne, Beric Dondarrion, The Hound, The Mountain, The Red Woman, Thoros of Myr..."
5. Cersei Lannister
A wig. Is that way harsh? Sometimes people just want what they need.
6. Jaime Lannister
You know those homemade coupons you used to give your family members that were like "pick what we watch on TV," "one hour no fighting," or "five free hugs" — Jaime needs those.
I feel like she's the type of person who says "oh get me anything... as long as it's expensive and warm and pretty and red but not so red that it clashes with the fire I use to sacrifice children... but I don't want something I need, give me something I want."
8. Margaery Tyrell
Maybe some better bedding (because she's still locked up), but mostly just the guaranteed safety of her brother Loras.
9. Tyrion Lannister
Some books to help him restore order to Meereen, and enough booze to help him handle it.
10. Bran Stark
A nice big sled so his friends can ride with him!
11. Petyr Baelish
I. HAVE. NO. IDEA. WHAT. LITTLEFINGER. WANTS. LIKE, EVER.
12. All Of Us
For Jon Snow to be alive and for all of this Game of Thrones Season 6 speculation and fan theorizing madness to be over, come on! It's Christmas.
Images: Helen Sloan/courtesy of HBO; Giphy (12)