Not unlike that one time Luke Skywalker crashed his X-wing into a Dagobah swamp, the Star Wars: The Force Awakens review to end all Star Wars: The Force Awakens reviews has crashed into my heart. After alt rock weirdo Mac DeMarco saw The Force Awakens , Stereogum asked him for a review. And I sure am glad that they did; the Canadian musician's review truly brings the heat. We're talking inside-the-carcass-of-a-tauntaun-hot. No review will ever be hotter. Or more controversial. Or more brave. Or push more envelopes. Some may argue that it is less "review" and more "surreal masterpiece." That is fine by me. I see no lies.
At the top of the clip, the “Salad Days” singer holds two ticket stubs in front of the camera to prove that he has watched the newest chapter in the Star Wars franchise not once, but twice. And then, without giving away any major details, he says that the entire movie can be summed up in two words:
Who is back? I’ll tell you this much: It is not the droid you’re thinking of. Or the human. Or the Wookiee. Yeah, I could give away the answer, but that is not my style. I really don’t want to ruin the surprise, I don't want to take the experience away from you, I would much rather let you watch the slightly NSFW video sans-spoilers, etcetera.
If a picture is worth one thousand words, this slideshow is worth one million R2-D2 chirps.