Can you feel it? That feeling of pure excitement, joy, and anticipation that can only mean one thing. The Bachelor is here, and not only does that mean love is in the air, but it also means we get another round of Bachelor-grade occupations that only this show could conjure up. Over the years (14 to be exact), we've been treated to some fo the strangest jobs on the Bachelor and Bachelorette that have probably made you do a double-take and a quick Google search phrased "What is a free spirit?" And guess what, you're not alone.
Now is the time to look back at the 20 seasons of The Bachelor and 11 seasons of The Bachelorette to truly figure out these life-puzzling questions. What internship experience does one need to become a "healer," you ask? Did Robert Graham grow up saying he wanted to be a sign spinning inventor, or is that something that just became a passion later in life? I don't want to give all of the careers away, but that's just a small tasting of what the franchise has given us since 2002.
So, without further ado, here are the 15 strangest jobs ever featured on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Get your resumes ready for a career change, folks.
1. The Chicken Enthusiast
Let's start out strong with Ben Higgins' contestant, Tiara, who is a "chicken enthusiast." I don't know when "enthusiast" became synonymous with "career" but I'd like to talk to the person who made that decision. If this were the case, I'd be one of the following on The Bachelor: a soft cheese enthusiast, a corgi butt enthusiast, or a "personal lives" section of celebrities' Wikipedia pages enthusiast.
2. The Twins
Look, if Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen taught me anything, it's that being a twin can be a dangerous job (these two were taking down terrorist conspiracies before they were even candidates for braces). So, I get that Emily and Haley Ferguson have their plates full with a career as twins. But what else do they do? I happen to know that they're not getting paid for just living as twins.
3. The Amateur Sex Coach
Shawn Evans, of The Bachelorette Season 11, not only had my favorite limo exit to ever exist (refresher: hot tub convertible), but he also had the most unconvincing career, ever. I don't have an issue with the "sex coach" part of the occupation, it's the "amateur" part of the job that confuses me. That's like admitting you're not that good at coaching couples' sex lives. Do yourself a favor and just fluff — for lack of a better word — the resume a bit and drop the "amateur."
4. The Sport Fishing Enthusiast
Enough is enough with the "enthusiast" talk, Tara (from Chris Soules' season of The Bachelor). Either you do it as a career, or you do it as a hobby. Maybe you've made your hobby/life's passion your career, in which I say, congratulations. Not many people are lucky enough to do that. But, then just say you're a sport fisherperson. More things I'm an enthusiast for that would be my career according to The Bachelor: red wines from Argentina enthusiast, Spongebob macaroni and cheese enthusiast, and sheet face masks from Duane Reade enthusiast.
5. The Healer
Tony the Healer. It's like Tony the Tiger but there's no delicious cereal in this situation. Still unaware of what Tony "healed" although I watched Kaitlyn's season of The Bachelorette very closely.
6. The Junkyard Specialist
What made Ryan McDill, from The Bachelorette Season 11, a junkyard specialist? I guess you just have to have an eye for spotting expensive crap in a junkyard.
7. The Pantsapreneur
The Bachelorette Season 10's J.J. O'Brien was a pantspreneur. Basically, he designed unique pairs of pants. He was quite literally a fancypants man.
8. The Cadaver Tissue Saleswoman
Shoutout to Reegan from Chris Soules' season of The Bachelor for helping tissue distribution in this world, I'm sure that's a very noble job. But this woman literally sold cadaver tissue. I don't think there needs to be much more said.
9. The Automotive Spokesman
I'd like to think an automotive spokesman is kind of the Olivia Pope for when cars get themselves into trouble, but I know it's not. Jonathon from Kaitlyn's season of The Bachelorette was an automotive spokesman, so either he voiced the car in Knight Rider or he just represents car companies? There's clearly a more exciting one in those two options.
10. The Manscaper
Raichel Goodyear, featured on Season 15 of The Bachelor with Brad, was a manscaper. Now, I have to give it to her, since this was a couple of years before the term would be so regularly used. But, what? I want to know the details, and I don't want to know the details.
11. The Tailor/Magician
If you're waiting for some punch line where he says, "I can work magic with your cuffs," then you, my friend, are sorely mistaken. Nick Roy, of The Bachelorette Season 9, was simply a tailor... and a magician. Both. He was both, you guys.
12. The Dog Lover
I love dogs too, Kelly from The Bachelor Season 18, but it's not on my LinkedIn profile.
13. The Free Spirit
Now, this. Lucy from The Bachelor Season 18 with Juan Pablo, was a self-professed "free spirit." Here's the thing. A job as a "free spirit" does not pay the bills. It can't pay the bills. So what does?
14. The Jumbotron Operator
I'm not discrediting the Jumbotron Operator career path, but I'm just asking about the internship opportunities involved in securing a job like that. Paige Vigil, from Bachelor Season 17, I have some questions for you.
15. The Spinventor
In other signage news, Robert Graham, from The Bachelorette Season 9, "invented sign spinning." You know, those big arrows that point toward a car wash or free sub sandwich... Robert is your go-to guy.
Images: Rick Rowell/ABC