2015 Superlatives That Will Help You Reminisce On This Year & Remind You That All This Totally Happened Before
Well guys, another year is up. Adios 2015! Auf wiedershien to those 364 days. Au Revoir to the pop culture we took in. Arrivederci to the movies we watched. Goodbye, 2015, though truthfully, you were a lot like 2014. And 2013. And 2012. And probably 1755 in some respects as well. It's true: As much as things change, it also seems that they stay the same. Every year, there is some celebrity who does something completely crazy, or some gadget that grabs the entire population in it's vice-life grip, or some television show that warms our hearts with it's wacky characters (so crazy, but I just identify with Kramer, you know?). Just like fashions come back, so do the same stories we hear every year, though in different ways of course. It's almost like you can assign previous decades' superlatives to current times seamlessly.
So, given that Thursday is the last day of 2015, that is exactly what I did.
With this list of 2015 superlatives, I hope to remind you of some of your favorite and least favorite memories of the past year. And to remind you that each of them essentially happened in past years, in one way or the other. Time is fickle, and we never seem to learn from our mistakes. Such is life. But maybe 2016 will be different?
Probably not. Here's the list anyway.
1. 2015's Brittany And Justin Is Selena And (Another) Justin
Sigh. On-again/off-again pop star couples will always test my belief in love when they break-up. Even though they always break-up and they always get back together and break-up again, I ride the waves with them. And then I get so depressed. It happened in the '90s with Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake, and now it's happening again with Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber. And the world keeps turning...
2. 2015's Star Wars Is Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Even the prequels-that-must-not-be-named didn't get as much hype as this crazy movie is getting. I finally know what it feels like to be a child when Return of the Jedi came out — because when it comes to The Force Awakens, I am a child.
3. 2015's Madonna Is Taylor Swift
Like how the blonde Material Girl was everywhere in the '80s, the also blonde T. Swift has been reigning queen supreme this year. Bless her lil' heart.
4. 2015's Angry Birds Is Candy Crush
Nothing like returning home for the holiday season to your parents paying zero attention to you because their faces are fixed on the glowing screen of their iPads. Also, nothing like getting a million requests to play Candy Crush on Facebook from that one guy you haven't spoken to since high school.
5. 2015's John Travolta Idina Menzel Name Gaff Is Steve Harvey At The Miss Universe Competition
It's OK, Steve Harvey, all those bright lights and cameras in your face must be really confusing. I don't blame you in any way.
6. 2015's Jon Stewart Is Trevor Noah?
I mean. They're hosting the same show. This one's pretty obvious, I guess.
7. 2015's Jerry Seinfeld Is Amy Schumer
That's right gang, the new hot comedian with a TV show is Amy Schumer. Get it, girl. GIRL POWER! WOOOO!!!!!!
8. 2015's Michael Jordan Is Serena Williams
I know very little about baseketball or basketbaseball or whatever sports the kids are into these days. What I do know, though, is that if Bugs Bunny was in danger and needed a really good athletic to save the day from the Monstars, he would definitely pick Serena Williams in 2015 for Space Jam 2. MAKE IT HAPPEN, GUYS.
9. 2015's Steve Jobs Is Mark Zuckerberg
There's a new bazillionaire in town. I mean he's been here — but we all need a nerdy genius to worship since Steve Jobs, and it's just taken some time to get over our grief and find him.
There you have it. 2015's superlatives. Here's to 2016, where hopefully we can hold on to all the positive parts and ditch the negative parts. Wish me luck guys. If anything goes horribly awry, my first stop is raiding a pharmacy for asthma medication, and then Montana. I'll see y'all there.
Images: Giphy (8)