Ever since starting Game of Thrones back in my sophomore year of college, I’ve worried about the state of my emotional wellbeing. Why do I continue to watch a show that horrifies me so? Why do I tune in to watch reprehensible characters torture the morally upright ones? Clearly, it’s because I have issues. Also, it’s because it’s just really freakin’ good. But, as a longtime fan, I do have some stipulations for further viewing of my beloved show. Case in point, there are some Game of Thrones characters Season 6 does not need to feature on-screen.
I don't just want these characters to be off on the sidelines — I want the powers that be at GoT to get rid of them completely. Yes, that means kill them off. Or have one of Khaleesi’s dragons fly them into the great, wide yonder to never return. Whatever it takes. I just don’t want to have to deal with their shenanigans any longer. It’s tough being a GoT fan, you guys. These characters just make it worse.
Here are seven Game of Thrones characters that I need to see go (however that has to happen) in the upcoming Season 6:
Not even a Joffrey-type death will do for him. No, I need to see Ramsay meet his maker in multiple takes, at every angle, with closed captioning on so I can read all the of the little nuances to the death scene that I may miss while basking in the justice of it all. Was that too harsh? Good.
Do I even have to specify why? It's not like you all haven't been throwing darts at his picture, mulling over his major misdeed during this hiatus anyway.
(But, I'm going to keep this tentative for now because I saw that promo pic and it looks promising).
3. Ellaria Sand
She killed Myrcella! And while I'm not as invested in Myrcella as I am in Jon Snow, at least Jon was an adult and "died" having actually done something to upset people, even though I may not agree with their ire. Myrcella, on the other hand, was an innocent who was used as a pawn in her parents' game, and being a parent herself, Ellaria's actions are sort of irredeemable. Yeah, it's a "Bye, Felicia" from me.
4. Stannis Baratheon
I'm sensing a theme here: I'm not so into murderers. Not that I was ever on board with him, but after Shireen's murder, Stannis and I are never, ever, ever getting back together. Like, ever. Truthfully, he's like one rung lower on the ladder of my "Crap GoT People" list from Ramsay. Killing your own kid will get you on lists of that sort. Happily, Stannis might actually be dead — we all saw that finale scene. Speaking to Entertainment Weekly, GoT director David Nutter said, "From the very beginning, and [through] the script process, that was the intent — he’s dead." Still, who knows if he's actually gone for good?
I know we might need her and we might end up thanking her (everything comes back to Jon Snow, doesn't it?), but, she's a total wacko and quite frankly, I'm sick of listening to her ghost stories as she fuels the crazy fire (literally). Girl's gotta go.
*Lets out breath* Wow, It felt good to get that off my chest. GoT showrunners, it's your move now.
6. Lancel Lannister
The dude just totally creeps me out. I'd rather not be exposed to weekly heebie jeebies. *Shivers*
7. Night's King
OK, I'm honestly torn up about this. On one hand, he creates a delicious amount of drama, thrill, and suspense. On the other hand, he's going to freakin' kill everyone, starting with the probably-not-dead-yet Jon Snow, I just know it. Night's King, why you gotta be so rude?
*Shrugs* I guess we'll see. April is coming.