Over the many, many seasons of Lizzie McGuire, which aired its first episode in 2004, our girl Lizzie spent most, if not all, of her time pining over the beautiful Ethan Craft. Ethan might not have been very smart, but he was very kind and very handsome. It was like having a male model go to your school, and, really, who could blame Lizzie for being so much like all of us? I could. I could. Because the hottest guy on Lizzie McGuire was not Ethan Craft, and I'm sorry that she misled us for so many years. Gordo was the hottest guy on Lizzie McGuire, and he continues to be the hottest guy on Lizzie McGuire today. When you look back and watch those episodes, your eyes should not be drawn to the luscious locks of Ethan Craft. Instead, you should take the time to notice Gordo from the pilot, instead of waiting until the movie to notice him like Lizzie did. Otherwise, you are seriously missing out.
Honestly, Gordo was the perfect fictional crush. He had so much going for him at an age when girls weren't really appreciating what he had to offer. It's only with a discerning adult eye that you can realize that genuinely good guys like Gordo, who are there for you and care about you, are the ones that you'll end up finding hot over the conventionally attractive guys who won't give you the time of day. But I'm here to help you fix those mistakes, and to help you realize the innate hotness that is David Zephyr Gordon.
1. His Hair, Though
Those luscious curls were as wild and untamable as my love for him. Sure, Ethan's hair was, you know, beautiful and blond and moved, but I love me a man with curls.
2. He Was Always Loyal To Lizzie
While Ethan was busy gazing at himself in mirrors, Gordo was showing up for Lizzie every second of every day, even when she thought she had no one.
3. He Always Had A Sarcastic Comment
Ethan's sense of humor was set firmly on, "Huh?" Gordo's sense of humor alternated between being delightfully sarcastic and being wise beyond its years. Excuse me while I sigh happily.
4. He Actually Used His Brain
I'm not saying that Ethan didn't use his brain, because he did. It's just Gordo was a straight A student who actually had a brain to use. (Shots fired.)
5. He Gave The Best Compliments
I don't even have anything to add to this. I'm just going to leave this here. Bye, Ethan.
6. He Was Willing To Admit When He Was Wrong
Agreeing with Ethan was a painful thing for Gordo to ever have to admit, but he was willing to do it. You know why? Because he could swallow his pride and admit when he was wrong or misguided. That's an attractive quality in a man.
7. He Knew What A Girl Wants
Guys, he has mini doughnuts. This debate ends here.
8. He Was Very Supportive
Alongside Miranda, Gordo made sure that, whatever it was that Lizzie was doing or trying, he was right there to be her cheering squad. With Gordo, you never have to worry about trying to impress him, because nothing impresses him and he just wants you to do you.
9. And Believed In Equality
Basically, he was a budding young feminist before we even properly knew what the word meant. You push that equality, Gordo.
10. His Facial Expressions Were Perfect
Gordo was a walking reaction gif. Ethan basically had two facial expressions: hot and confused.
11. Because He Made Us All Cry
Gordo was just so amazing, in personality and in his regard for Lizzie, that, when they finally kissed, it was such a beautiful moment for all of us. He was never pushy or entitled, and he never tried to pressure Lizzie into being with him as so many so-called "nice guys" do on TV these days. He was just there for her, content to be her friend even when he hoped for something more that he thought he'd never get. Thus, when Lizzie finally realized he was the one for her, we were all rooting for those two crazy kids.
The debate as to whether or not Gordo was conventionally hot might rage on, but, to me, there's no room for argument. He was, hands down, the hottest guy on Lizzie McGuire, and no one will ever convince me differently.