Warning: I'm about to chuck an opinion into the proverbial swimming pool, so you might want to tie down the patio furniture. You know, just in case I get too fired up and go full Marissa. Here is something that I will always and forever believe to be true: If Julie Cooper is not one of your favorite characters from The O.C., then you are doing it wrong. The Juicy Couture tracksuit-clad, Bob Seger-loving matriarch of the Cooper family is a national treasure. Is Julie Cooper without flaw? No. Of course not. But come on, which The O.C. character is? (Oh, wait. You're right. Sandy Cohen might actually be perfect. OK, I'll let you have that one.) Sure, she made a few missteps over the course of the show's four seasons (namely, that whole debacle with China the horse), but her errors would never taint her legacy.
One of the many reasons why I love Julie Cooper-Nichol is that, frankly, that lady spit brilliant fire. Whether she was verbally eviscerating a Newpsie who dared challenge her, addressing her daughter's rolling eyes, or talking ficus plants with Kirsten Cohen, Julie always seemed to have a hilarious pearl of wisdom waiting up her velour sleeve.
Below you will find a handful of Julie Cooper quotes. Every last one of these quotes deserves to be stitched into canvas wall hangings, printed onto inspirational waiting room posters, scribbled between the clouds via skywriter, and tattooed onto our hearts. Each is a valuable life lesson, so cherish the quotes accordingly.
1. Dr. Roberts: “How's dinner coming?”Julie: “Fantastic. You wouldn't happen to know how to cook a turkey, would you?”
When did Julie Cooper utter this gem? Season 4, Episode 3The Julie Cooper lesson: It’s her version of “fake it ’til you make it.” In this case, the “it” is a Thanksgiving turkey.
2. Julie: “Have you eaten?”Kirsten: “What did you have in mind?”Julie: “Fried foods and beer.”
When did Julie Cooper utter this gem? Season 1, Episode 12The Julie Cooper lesson: Never stop living your truth.
3. “Cheese wheel?”
When did Julie Cooper utter this gem? Season 1, Episode 16The Julie Cooper lesson: Cheese. Wheel.
4. “Kirsten, if you stopped open heart surgery halfway through it would look like murder.”
When did Julie Cooper utter this gem? Season 1, Episode 17The Julie Cooper lesson: I mean, she makes a fair point.
5. “Bob Seger is not ‘so over.’”
When did Julie Cooper utter this gem? Season 1, Episode 25The Julie Cooper lesson: The works of your musical hero will always be there for you, so you should always be there for your musical hero.
6. “I told you, Gus. I am not going to your Christmas party. Even if you are deep frying a ham.”
When did Julie Cooper utter this gem? Season 3, Episode 10The Julie Cooper lesson: No amount of deep-fried ham can save a bust of a soirée.
7. “All my black dresses look like they should be accessorized with a broomstick.”
When did Julie Cooper utter this gem? Season 2, Episode 24The Julie Cooper lesson: If your LBDs don’t give off witchy vibes, then your LBD collection needs a serious overhaul.
8. “You should get another glass of champagne. ‘Cause this is one surprise you won’t find posted on the Internet.”
When did Julie Cooper utter this gem? Season 2, Episode 13The Julie Cooper lesson: Always bring booze to a tea spilling party.
9. “So send me the [divorce] papers. I'll make the margs. We'll make a party out of it.”
When did Julie Cooper utter this gem? Season 2 Episode 23The Julie Cooper lesson: It's never not margarita o'clock.
10. “I tried to Google myself today and crashed the entire computer network.”
When did Julie Cooper utter this gem? Season 2 Episode 4The Julie Cooper lesson: Sometimes, Googling yourself just isn't worth it.
11. “If you'll excuse me, I have a Hot Pocket in the microwave and a wine cooler with my name on it.”
When did Julie Cooper utter this gem? Season 3, Episode 14The Julie Cooper lesson: If you're going to bid someone adieu, make a lasting impression. This would make for an outstanding email signature. Or radio DJ sign-off. Or AIM away message.
12. Julie: “Oh, that's very punk of you. You know, I used to like the punk in my day.” Marissa: “Mom!”Julie: “You're right, Marissa. It still is my day. I was just being modest.”
When did Julie Cooper utter this gem? Season 2, Episode 14The Julie Cooper lesson: Let the record show that it is never not Julie Cooper’s day. May we all be so lucky to say the same about ourselves.
13. "It's just not right for a little girl to love a hairless pony."
When did Julie Cooper utter this gem? Season 1, Episode 1The Julie Cooper lesson: It's just not right for a little girl to love a hairless pony. It's. Just. Not. Right.
Preach on, Mama Cooper.