Artist Soraya Doolbaz took plague of our time, The Unsolicited Dick Pic, and turned in into a creative business enterprise with The Dicture Gallery: a website devoted to professional photographs of dicks dressed up like celebrities.
"These aren’t just your regular dick pics," her website promises, "These are dick pics with a twist! It’s an artistic take on an otherwise alluring modern dating tactic."
Basically, Doolbaz found herself and her friends the recipients of many, many dick pics from men trying to woo them. And she and her friends would share these photos amongst each other — a lot.
"Some dick pics were better than others," she observed in a New York Post interview. "And I thought, 'What if I took them with a professional camera?' And then I was walking through a Walmart and I saw a couple of dolls. I just kind of put two and two together and thought, 'I could create a personality out of penises.'"
So she began collecting costumes and staging dick pic photo shoots.
Dressing up genitals is not a wholly new artform. In 2006, Transgender Law Center co-founder Dylan Wade began a non-profit project called Trannymals, which made educational films starring the genitals of transgender and non-binary folks dressed up like cute cartoon creatures. The goal was to increase visibility and stimulate (ahem) conversation around trans* bodies, specifically the ways they are legislated based on the size and appearance of genitals.
Check out the video below (NSFW)
While Doolbaz's work is somewhat less altruistic (and involves less googly eyes), the artwork is still super fun! Here's what you can expect from life as a penis fashion photographer:
1. Your Friends Are Your Greatest Startup Asset
Doolbaz's idea took off when her friends began bringing in their boyfriends or just randos they were dating who were into owning high-quality professional dick pics.
2. You Don't Actually Have To Touch The Dicks
Doolbaz requests her models come with a partner to assist with dick costume changes and "fluffing" aka arousal maintenance. Presumably, that partner could be a romantic one or just a helpful friend! (Ooh, sex work-crossover business proposal: Doolbaz could team up with a Dicture Gallery "concierge" who helps with the fluffing and costume changes for a handsome fee!)
3. You Help Dudes Feel Good About Their Bodies
Yeah, yeah, men don't need any more help feeling good about themselves, they already have All The Privilege and aren't subjected to anywhere near the amount of sex and body stigma that women are. But some dudes actually know that and are capable of empathy. (I know, I was shocked, too.) As one woke AF gent brilliantly pointed out, "[Dicks] are sort of utilitarian" during sex. "I just wanted to have a second where I could feel like — you know, everyone wants to feel desirable, I guess."
4. You Make Bank
Doolbaz recently took prints of her dick pics to Art Basel, where they sold for $10,000 each. Not to mention the money she makes off of clients when she shoots them, and the merch her website sells, like fashion dicks on coffee mugs and fashion dick calendars!
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out video on sex positions for small penises:
Images: Screengrabs/YouTube (4)