These Photos Of *NSYNC Are Unreal

One dreary afternoon, smack dab in the middle of a spring cleaning marathon, you stumble upon your junior high yearbook. You can't remember the last time you looked through this old thing. You set down your Swifter WetJet, sit down on a pile of dirty laundry, and begin to thumb through the book. And then, you are stopped mid-page flip by a photograph of the tween version of you. Your eyes attempt to take in the entire tableau: the butterfly clips that clamp down on a severely layered hairstyle, the sparkly pink Limited Too t-shirt, the bright blue glitter gel eyeshadow — it’s all too much. You’re not ready to stare into the eye of the late 1990s/early 2000s. Not yet. You close the yearbook. You go back to cleaning. That, dear reader, is sort of what looking at photographs of pop quintet *NSYNC is like.

By the turn of the New Millennium, the quintet of Justin Timberlake, Joey Fatone, JC Chasez, Lance Bass, and Chris Kirkpatrick had ascended to the pinnacle of Boy Band Mountain; *NSYNC ruled the pop music charts, the crush charts, the daring hair choice charts, and the fashion choice charts. (OK, those last three charts aren't real, but they should be.) They were our Sun-In, our mood necklace moon, and our glow-in-the-dark stars.

As you attempt to process the following photos of *NSYNC, remember this: Every pic I say is true, this I promise you.

*NBREATHABLEFABRICS

Those cotton ensembles are nothing if not breathable.

*NLAPELS

So many satin shirt collars, so little time.

*NNEEDSMOREOVERALLS

Joey Fatone's overalls just make me wistful for that one time all of *NSYNC wore overalls to a photo shoot.

*NWINDBREAKER

Why let the wind remain unbroken when you can wear a jewel tone puffy jacket?

*NTHEFUTUREISNOW

The year? 1999. The New Millennium? A stone's throw away. Do you know who is ready for Y2K? *NSYNC. Do you know how I can tell? They've stuck reflective tape to their Matrixcostumes.

*NORANGEYOUGLADYOUDIDN'TWEARBLACK

Way to stick out like a sore clementine, JC.

*NWHONEEDSUVA/UVBPROTECTION

Especially when your coat doubles as a sunshade.

*NVELVETISGOLDEN

On the next episode of Celebrity Deathmatch, Chris's purple velvet three-piece suit dukes it out with Joey's printed gold suit. Who wins? We all do!

*NSALOONPIANIST

"Don't mind us as we sit down at this old piano. Keep playing your cards. Keep spitting your tobacky. Keep adjusting your spurs. Let us know if you have any requests. And no, we won't play 'Heart and Soul.' What do you think this is, amateur hour?"

*NCHRISMAS

All of the other jackets are terrific, but Chris's Christmas overcoat is something to behold.

*NSLEEVESATTACHED

JC's arms look like puppet arms and I can't stop staring.

*NDENIMICON

What's this? Oh, no big deal. It's just one half of the most important couple ensemble that ever drew denim, er, breath.

*NJUSTALITTLEPOPOFCOLOR

Only the truest of true artists would match his lapels to to his hair.

*NWHERECANIFINDTHESECOATS

Seriously. This inquiring mind needs to know.

Wow. What an adventure, eh? One day, I will finally get around to buying a new ink cartridge for my printer. And then, I will promptly print out all of these photos. And then, I will taaaaake these photos in my aaaaarms and hold them right where they belonnnnng. My love for these pics is true, this I promise you.