12 Signs You're A True Cheese Lover
In this life, there is one thing you know to be true: You. Love. Cheese. And as Jan. 20 is National Cheese Lovers Day, you're ready to honor your cheesy love by feasting on cheddar, brie, and the other major players in the cheese game. For you, meals are incomplete without a cheese component. What's the point of a breakfast sandwich if there isn't a slice of jalapeño jack on it? Why suffer through a salad that isn't topped with crumbled feta? And who in their right mind would stuff their gob with pasta without a thick layer of parmesan coating the top? A meal without cheese is not a meal.
There are some people who moderately enjoy cheese, but you are not one of those people. A slice of plain pizza doesn't have nearly enough cheese, so you order extra. Cheese is your entire edible universe. It's your favorite food group. It's the only thing on your plate that will truly ease your hunger pangs, and prevent hangriness. And maybe it's something you always knew, but didn't realize the full extent of your cheesy devotion. Here are all the signs that cheese is your soulmate, and your love for it is eternal.
1. You know where every kind of cheese comes from.
Paneer comes from Bangladesh and Jarlsberg comes from Norway... duh.
2. Your salads are more cheese than greens.
It's healthy if there's lettuce, right? Quantity doesn't matter.
3. Your burgers could be missing the meat, and you wouldn't even know it.
The only patty between two buns that you care about is the one made of provolone. That sounded dirtier than expected, but you get the idea.
4. You won't drink wine without eating cheese.
The wine is optional. Cheese is a must.
5. You've taken mac and cheese to multiple new levels of cheesy goodness.
Mac and cheese pizza? Check. Mac and cheese omelettes? Check. Cheese burgers with fried mac and cheese buns? Oooh, double check.
6. You know there's not enough cheese on your pizza unless the cheese strings go for miles.
In order for them to break, you need to cut them yourself because they are so wonderfully gooey and long.
7. You've found a cheese pairing suitable for every kind of alcohol.
This goes way beyond wine, folks. Beer, vodka, and tequila have cheese besties, too.
8. You refuse to ever eat crackers — even when you're sick — without cheese on top.
The thought of an empty saltine makes you queasy. But add a dollop of cream cheese, and your stomach instantly settles down.
9. You know one string cheese is not enough for a snack, not nearly enough.
This is nowhere near filling enough, not even for a child.
10. You come close to a rage stroke of confusion anytime someone requests "no cheese."
And you reconsider your friendship with them, because how can they even be trusted?
11. You will never not order extra cheese, even when it costs more.
An extra 50 cents is a small price to pay for utterly satisfied tastebuds.
12. You could live without sex, but not without cheese.
It might seem crazy, but you know it's somehow true.
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Image: NBC; Giphy (12)