How To Build A Pillow Fort For Adults, Because What Else Can You Do When It's This Cold?
So, it's cold right now. Like, really, nightmarishly, unbearably cold. And maybe it's not as cold where you live, but it's still that part of winter where the holidays are over and spring seems farther away than anything has ever felt and you're like, Tthis is my life now, sad winter 4ever." I have one piece of advice for you: build a pillow fort. For survival purposes. And also because they're awesome. Because just because today is, in fact, statistically the most depressing day of the year doesn't mean that you can't do something about it.
If you want to argue with me that surrounding yourself with pillows and blankets and other soft, warm things is not a great way to fight the winter, that's fine, but you're, uh, wrong. Just ask the Danish, some of the happiest people in the world living in a place with 15+ hours of darkness at a time. They rely on the concept of hygge, which roughly translates to "coziness," and what's cozier than a pillow fort?
Or maybe you're over pillow forts because they're too babyish for you, and babyish things hold no real purpose or meaning. Except that other, similarly childish things like coloring books have been shown to significantly reduce physical and emotional stress in adults. So. There's that.
Or maybe, just maybe, you're a little scared. But that's OK. Because I'm here to walk you through the basics. Don't be scared, dude. It's going to be all right. We're going to build this pillow fort together, and then maybe you won't have to wear tights under your jeans and two pairs of socks. Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't you like that?
Here's how to build the best pillow fort the world has ever seen. Because we all need this right now.
Sure, fine, you can build a pillow fort anywhere, but personally I like to take a few things into consideration: Walls, bed/couch, entertainment. The walls are for pinning blankets (get a nice little tent vibe going); the bed/couch is for lounging on once you are in the fort (floors are very cold and hard and I am constantly re-learning that); and, OK, maybe I suck, but I like to build my fort around a TV. Or an outlet where I can plug in my laptop and rock some Outlander. Or, like, I don't know, a record player if you want to permanently live in a Wes Anderson movie.
In college, when we made our entire common area into a pillow fort (we built it around the mini-fridge AND the TV — it was amazing and also I didn't get any work done for a week), we had a huge amount of supplies to pull from. Now, as an adult, I have fewer tie-dye tapestries and weird blankets, because I have actual frames on my actual painted walls and actual sheets on my bed.
Bed pillows, couch pillows, throw pillows — all great. Sheets, quilts, blankets, towels, sleeping bags, tablecloths — all legitimate. Be a pillow fort innovator.
Architects don't just build structures purely for beauty; they have to build for function, as well. Consider yourself an architect of pillow forts. How do you want to enter and exit? How many humans and/or pets do you want to fit in the fort at one time? Do you want to be able to stand up? Lie down? Make these decisions ahead of time, and you'll be swell. You'll be great.
Now go forth, pillow fort-ers of America and beyond. Go forth and build thine temples. I cannot hold thy hand forever. Thou must venture onwards by thyself. And maybe two to six friends. And some snacks.