How To Chill When You're Way Into Someone Too Soon

by Emma McGowan

You finally meet someone that you click with; someone that makes you laugh; someone you think is super sexy. All of a sudden you’re only a short time into dating and you realize that it may be too fast too soon — you’re practically ready to drop the “L word,” even though that small part of your brain that’s still acting rationally knows that it’s way too early for that. The beginning of any romantic relationship is intoxicating. This was me, every single time I ever started dating someone. I’d be swept off my feet and imagining our future life together (like, wedding and babies future together) before I even knew the guy’s middle name!

While I tend to just dive right in and let the person I’m dating know how I feel, throwing caution to the wind, I totally understand that that’s not recommended for people in most situations. I mean, it’s worked out great in my current relationship — I told my boyfriend I loved him just a month after we made it “official” and we’ve been together for almost three years now — but the trail of not-boyfriends in my wake speaks to the fact that it hasn’t always been smart on my part either. So what do you when you feel that love-feeling coming on way too soon and you think you might do something crazy? Here are six tricks to help you keep your cool.

1. Spend More Time With Them

Seriously. Nothing bursts the new relationship crazies like actually getting to know the person you’re obsessing over. When we first meet someone, we tend to fill in the blanks with favorable imaginings, right? But as you get to know the real person better and better, you’ll learn their faults and your obsessive interest will transform, either into disinterest or into a different kind of like.

2. Facebook Stalk

Just like spending more time together IRL, Facebook stalking can definitely put a damper on your obsessiveness, assuming that it helps you realize that your new partner is not perfect. It’s also a good way to channel that liking feeling without blowing up their phone every five seconds, even if it doesn’t put an actual damper on things.

3. Talk To Your Friends

Make your friends listen to you talk about your new partner until they want to either plug their ears with cotton or put a muzzle on you. That’s what friends are for!

4. Come Up With An Alternative Way To Say You Dig Them

If it’s too early to say “love,” find another way of telling your new love interest that you’re really into them. It can be as easy as telling them how cute they think they are all the time or letting them know that you really love spending time together. The important thing is that you verbalize your feelings, just maybe not with that weighty word yet.

5. Hang Out With Your Other Friends Often

In addition to making your friends listen to you talk about bae 24/7, make plans with as many different friends as you can, and as often as possible. This does the double duty of distracting you from your obsession and giving you more people whose ears you can off. Win/win!

6. Go On A Few Dates With Other People

Nothing distracts better than dating around a bit, assuming you and your new partner haven’t made any promises about monogamy yet. Go on a couple of dates to help cool down the hot hot heat you’re feeling. Who knows — maybe you’ll even meet someone better for you.

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