Donald Trump Erotica Is The Book You Didn’t Know You Needed

There’s a book climbing the Amazon bestseller chart that you never even knew you needed — but I’m here to tell you that Donald Trump erotica is what’s been missing from your life all this time. It all started on Wednesday night, when L.A. comedian Elijah Daniel tweeted his intentions to get drunk and upload a “Donald Trump sex novel” to Amazon by the following morning. Four bottles of wine and a few joints later, The Billionaire and The Bellboy was born.

22-year-old Daniel had help conceptualizing the Trump Temptation novel from his 90k Twitter followers; it was through a Twitter poll that he decided to cast himself in the story as a bellboy. In a four-hour drinking binge, he made good on his tweets and produced the 21-page novella, which instantly rocketed up the Amazon charts. Although Daniel isn’t making much money from the book, it has helped him achieve a personal goal: using the words “blood sausage” in a project. You’ll have to download the ebook to find out how he slipped in that particular phrase.

But that’s not even the best of Daniel’s sexual descriptions. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if a few of these passages crop up in next year’s Bad Sex in Fiction awards. Hearing Donald Trump’s rear end described as a “mouthwatering stack of pancakes in his pants” is a particular treat.

The best part is that Daniel has already promised us more if we want it. “If it hits the bestseller list I will literally write an entire trilogy,” he told Fusion — and as we know from the The Billionaire and The Bellboy success, Daniel is a man of his word.