I really, really like dating — the butterflies, the smoochin' — but the relationship that I value above anything else is Best Friendship. Ideally, it's a connection that you can count on for endless support and love. But humans are not perfect, relationships are not perfect, and best friendships are not perfect. If your relationship with your best friend is becoming toxic, you gotta know. And then you gotta take action to fix it.
Toxic BFF-ships are especially harmful because a lot of the time, they're sneakily bad for you. Like, if you're a lactose-intolerant chocoholic but you don't know you're lactose intolerant, you'll have no idea that this thing that you ostensibly love is doing something terrible to you. Or something. I don't know, dudes, it's January and I feel like it's been winter for my whole life. Please cut me some slack.
In any event, though, when a in which relationship you have invested a lot of time and energy becomes toxic, it can do a lot more damage emotionally and mentally than, for example, a bad situation with your boss. Yeah, it's terrible to be told you're bad at your job; believe me, it's worse to be consistently undermined by a person you thought was supposed to have your back no matter what.
If you recognize any of this signs within your own relationships, it's definitely worth addressing.
1. You're Super Competitive
Pushing each other to do amazing things is an important element to successful friendships; constantly comparing yourself to your non-romantic significant other, however, is a dangerous game. Nothing hurts more than being snubbed by your best friend after sharing a personal accomplishment. You don't deserve that. Nobody does.
2. Hanging Out Is a Chore
If rollin' with your homie is emotionally draining, that's not a great sign. Quality time is supposed to boost you up. If you're routinely dreading hanging out with your BFF, maybe take a step back and ask yourself what's going on.
3. They Take Their Bad Days Out On You
BFF relationships hold an inherent amount of trust and empathy. We all have bad days where we unintentionally snap at those we love. But if you find yourself repeatedly taking out your unhappiness on your friend, or you feel like your pal uses you as an emotional punching bag, then it might be time to take a few steps back.
4. Your Relationship Is a Roller Coaster
Maybe roller coaster is not the right word, because roller coasters are fun. But if you're great one minute and fighting tooth and nail the next, it's not the stability we all need at least a little bit of. Every great relationship needs passion, romantic or otherwise, but drama-filled BFF-ships are, uh, tough.
5. They Betray Your Trust
If your BFF blabs your secrets, that's a huge no-no and you've got to address it immediately. Friendships are reliant on honesty, compassion and equality. If you can't trust your friends, who else is there, you know?