Valentine's Day is here once again, and for those who find it much easier to crack a joke than express true feelings, I feel you, I hear you, I am you. Sometimes it's easier to give funny Valentine's Day cards than it is to say "Hey, I am madly in love with you. That is a fact." A huge shiver runs down my back and it feels like all of my organs shrivel up whenever I try to express my real feelings. It's not because I'm lying, I really am deeply in love with my boyfriend, but boy is it awful to be vulnerable. Thank god for texting, because now I can just type my true feelings without all that silly face-to-face anxiety.
Of course there are plenty of other reasons to send a funny card, maybe you are a funny person, maybe you like funny things, maybe you are still testing the waters of your relationship and aren't sure how honest you can be yet. Well, no matter your reason there is something for everyone below. From cards about awkward unlabeled relationships to cards just about cute butts, your Valentine's Day card prayers have been answered. But please, don't thank me, that's too much raw emotion for me to handle.
1. Be Mine
I don't believe in using sex as a bartering tool, but maybe just this once...
Be Mine card, $4.50, etsy.com
2. Dark Side
Tell bae they are your light.
Dark Side card, $5, etsy.com
3. Obligatory Card
I mean, if you have to send a card, it might as well be this one.
Obligatory Card, $5, etsy.com
4. Cheesy Card
If there is ever a reason to be overly cheesy, it's Valentine's Day. And also any time after midnight, but with a real block of cheddar and TV.
Cheesy Card, $3.65, etsy.com
5. Be My Valentine?
Looking for a job? I've got a pretty sweet gig opening up, with tons of vacation days and kissing.
Be My Valentine card, $4.50, etsy.com
6. Bee Mine
Is your SO obsessed with puns? Charm them with this adorably punny card.
Bee Mine card, $5, etsy.com
7. I'm A Keeper
Obviously bae is number one, but sometimes you need to love yourself first, right?
I'm a Keeper card, $4.50, etsy.com
8. Honestly The Best
Give that official Abe Lincoln endorsement with this card.
Honestly the Best, $4.50, etsy.com
9. Cute Butt
Don't get it twisted. I'm only here for that butt.
Cute Butt card, $4.50, etsy.com
10. Things I Love
An accurate summary of all the things I love. And look, you made the cut!
Things I Love Card, $4.50, etsy.com
11. Valentine Matchbox
If you haven't asked your valentine yet, you might as well ask in the most adorable way possible.
Valentine Matchbox, $4.95, etsy.com
The inside reads "because I need you on my lips."
Chapstick card, $4, etsy.com
13. You'll Do
Look, if I can't have Ryan Gosling, you're good enough.
You'll Do card, $2.50, etsy.com
14. Heart Beats For You
Nothing is more romantic than scientific diagrams.
15. Significant Otter
And the puns just keep on coming. At least they are adorable.
Significant Otter card, $4, etsy.com
16. Kanye and Kanye
May you always love your significant other as much as Kanye loves Kanye.
Kanye and Kanye card, $7.89, etsy.com
17. Right Swipe
So you know you're a match.
Right Swipe card, $4, etsy.com
18. Love You Many Moons
Butts = Love, that's just a mathematical fact.
Love You Many Moons card, $5, ofakind.com
19. Awkward Dating
Are you in a confusing relationship? Well this card might be perfect for you.
Awkward Dating card, $5, ofakind.com
20. Court You
If any living person could bless your relationship, it obviously needs to be RBG herself.
Court You card, $5, ofakind.com
For more ideas, check out Bustle on YouTube.