In between my bouts of puzzling and making up weird breakfast combos, I take the time to come up with unusual questions. The kinds of questions that only BuzzFeed really understands — such as what would happen if dogs used dating apps. First of all, I want to calm your burning inquiries for me. I am fine. I'm a creative person with a weird imagination so ideas tend to float in and out of my brain daily. This particular question popped up and I had a whole scenario worked out in my head. Doggy pick up lines, doggy first date outfits, the whole shebang. Then I saw that BuzzFeed already made a video and actually explained it way better than I ever could.
Turns out that I am not the only one asking the important dog questions this week. While our exploration was similar in nature, I do not have Final Cut or the ability to pay for stock footage of dogs. BuzzFeed is a professional company so they had the proper resources to really demonstrate what would happen if our beloved pets used social media platforms to ask each other out. Obviously this dog dating app would need a name, and PuppyLuv seemed like a perfect match. And in the tradition of Grinder, Bumble, and JDate, we would mot likely also need apps for dogs looking for specific matches. I offer the alternative RuffLove for those dogs looking to get into the BDSM scene and Chasers for same-sex dog love. I have more, but I am afraid to post them on the Internet because the ideas are just that good.
Below are some of the highlights from conversations that dogs would have with each other if they were ever going to use dating apps.
1. There Would Be Common Interests
Obviously at first glance the dogs would be into the hunky Huskies and regal German Shepherds. But as we quickly learned in the human-world, looks are not an indicator of good partnership potential. These dogs would need to look below the surface and see if they have anything in common besides being pure-bred. In the case of this couple, digging was a clear winner. Hobbies are super important.
2. Trolls Exist In Every Form
The amount of times I've been trolled on dating apps has given me enough material for a small coffee book. And in this dog-dating world trolls exist. They will play on your weaknesses and say horrible things to you. In this case, they were very annoying and asked really annoying questions. Thankfully, you can just block these trolls.
3. It's A Match
After sifting through the countless dog-boys, some dog-men present themselves. They will ask you out on a concrete date and follow through. These are the dogs worth waiting for.
Check out the entire video below!
Images: Craig Barritt/Getty Images; YouTube