If the only thing you hate about Valentine's Day is that you aren't in a heteronormative relationship and, thus, no Valentine's gestures or traditions feel geared towards you, then fret no more. Lesbian dating app HER released queer Valentines again this year, and they're amazing. And you can actually buy print copies of them this time!
The app formerly known as Daatch also put out queer Valentine's last year, helpfully putting words to all those sentiments missing from your Hallmark aisles, like, "I'd tip your velvet any day," "'If you were my wife, I'd tell you every day how much I like yo' titties' —Crazy Eyes," and "To my favorite girl (who has never gone down on me)."
They perfectly encapsulate not only the romantic relationships of queer women, but also all those sticky in-between connections, like affection for your hetero lifemate, your not-quite-straight girlcrush, your butch bro, or your queer activity partner. And while you're being inundated during the month of February with listicles revealing "480 Hot Things To Do To Your Man's Dick On Valentine's Day [Involving Questionable Foods?]," HER's Valentines unapologetically make space for those offering frank, enthusiastic, skillful cunnilingus to their vulva-having objects of affection.
This year, HER captured timely cultural references with a nod to the film Carol, and the persistent media trend of referring to two female celebrities in what is clearly a romantic relationship as "gal pals." But you can't go wrong with a classic Mean Girls Valentine either.
Check out the nine prints available for purchase ($3.99) below. Order by February 9 to ensure a prompt V-Day delivery!
1. For the Michelle to Your Cara
2. For Your Slightly Deluded, Abby Wambach-Obsessed Friend
3. For Anyone Who Lists Their Spirit Animal as 'Janis Ian'
4. For the Queer You Met on Tumblr
5. For the Queer Who Has No Time for Euphemisms
6. Lez Be Honest
7. For Someone Whose Rack You Admire, as Well as Their Sprit!
8. For When Subtle Hints Aren't Working
9. ...And Then Get Delivery
Wondering what LGBTQA+ means? Check out our video below:
Images: Eugenio Marongiu/Fotolia; HER (9)
